Psychotherapy is a luxury you deserve.
I went to psychotherapy when I was 20 years old. At that point in my life, I tried everything that was supposed to bring happiness—college, marriage, moving to another city—and I just kept getting more and more unhappy. I wasn’t mentally confused; I was not seriously depressed. The truth is, I felt like many other women my age at the time. But I was worried about how my life was going and I was running out of ideas about what to do to change it. So I went to therapy.
And it was the best decision I ever made. It changed my life, or rather what I learned about myself changed me and allowed me to change my life. But he was afraid to reveal that I was always in therapy. I’d be open about my psychological insights, but I’d say they come from a “period of self-reflection.” There was such a taboo about psychologists, they were called shrinks and gurus. And therapy was seen as something for the “crazy” at best, and the weak-willed, self-indulgent, wealthy at worst. People were suspicious of psychotherapy, accusing it of destroying marriages and breaking up families.
For some time, people have been influenced by the popular opinion that psychopharmaceuticals are more effective than psychotherapy. Proponents argue that research cannot prove that psychotherapy can actually produce real change and argue against any long-term effects. But the long-term effects of psychotherapy are too subtle to measure with the methods used in outcome studies. Critics of psychotherapy have noted that both patients and patients have improved over time. But this turned out to be a very inhumane point, as those in therapy experienced a much more excruciating recovery period than those suffering from symptoms.
And what about the immediate beneficial effects of psychotherapy? Many patients come to therapy during a midlife crisis and suffer from anxiety and depression, and they are helped through the crisis and their symptoms alleviated. Afterwards, they often stay in therapy to think about other changes they want to make in their lives. In August 2012, after extensive research, the American Psychological Association concluded:
Decide whether psychotherapy as a healing practice and professional service is effective and highly cost-effective. In controlled trials and in clinical practice, psychotherapy significantly exceeds the benefits experienced by individuals who need mental health services but do not receive psychotherapy. Consequently, psychotherapy should be incorporated into the health care system as an established evidence-based practice.
Over the past five years, I have noticed a change in the general public. People seem to be more open about being in psychotherapy. Bloggers casually mention “at my last session the therapist told me…” Friends and colleagues discuss going to therapy when they talk about going to the gym or yoga class. Hmm, can attitudes toward psychotherapy change?
Last month I went to a conference in Los Angeles that I presented school of life, is a global organization dedicated to “teaching skills that develop emotional intelligence and promote psychological well-being.” On the first evening, speaker and founder Alain de Botton announced that he had something important to say, and that’s when he clicked on a slide that simply said, “You need psychotherapy!” I wanted to get up and be happy. There it was, open for all to see! Psychotherapy has been talked about as a good thing that each of us can benefit from.
And so it is. Spending time in a safe, non-judgmental, private place with someone whose only interest is knowing and understanding you is a luxury. Someone who knows how to listen and resonate with what you say and feel. Someone who has no preconceived notions about you or wants nothing from you. In this unique experience, you will be amazed at what happens as you get to know yourself better. Psychotherapy is a luxury you deserve.
I am glad that attitudes towards psychotherapy are changing. I am glad that the shame and stigma once attached to it is being removed. I’m glad it’s going from something that’s seen by the crazy to something that’s useful for everyone. And I’m proud to say that one of the best decisions I’ve ever made in my life was going to psychotherapy. I would recommend it to everyone I know and anyone reading this today.
This post was originally published on March 25, 2019 and has been updated to include new insights.
