I never expected that by the time I hit 70, I’d be secretly comparing myself to other women on who is quiet, who is tough, who is fierce, and who is strong.
There is no trace of erotic intent, good or bad. But I began to look at other women’s hands with the strict control I once reserved for looking into the eyes of handsome men.
I look; I was fascinated; I was intrigued.
49-year-old women are kayaking as if bears are actively chasing them, and I wonder how skillfully they manage their craft. I attended a yoga class for over 60 participants and was amazed at the stamina of the group and the lack of visible sweat. I gawk at the bare arms of 76-year-old tennis ladies envy both are theirs athletics and the ability to wear without plastic visors laughing.
It’s something I can’t compete with who has spent time and effort developing expertise in a world where physical activity is key. I’m not even close to their capabilities to be jealous.
For example, when it comes to guns, I’m thinking about how it would be if I didn’t look like a Glenn Close character outside of my house with no sleeves and no hat. Hillbilly Elegy.
They don’t talk much about aging before they start aging. They don’t tell you that the physical comparisons won’t stop, any more than they tell you that acne will never go away. They don’t tell you that you still want to be liked, admired and, yes, attractive – even if you add the phrase “for your age” as a caveat.
I didn’t believe that old age required it until I was on its doorstep. This is a new neighborhood. And it’s not necessary sleepysad, or lazy retirement community, or.
I made sure I validated my feelings optimism In a recent and important study published in the journal Yale researchers Becca R. Levy and Martin D. Slade The elderly titledAging redefined: Cognitive and Physical Enhancement by Positive Age Beliefs.” A meaningful article about long-term research can be summarized in one line: For at least half of us, we won’t be if we believe that we don’t have to go into what the poet Dylan Thomas calls “that good night” in a sad, sad, scary, horrible way.
Ah, the night will come and if we’re lucky, we’ll rest in peace, but if we really believe and act like there are better days ahead, we can best enjoy the life ahead of us.
Researchers worked with some early physical and showed people cognitive decline before the study began, but then found that nearly half improved with age, largely because they were motivated to reimagine their abilities and accomplishments in terms of health. Contrary to the belief that aging is a growing and inevitable curse, the researchers found that by showing that people in their study “had a significant percentage of health improvement” – almost 75% of the participants participated in the study for at least 10 years – “it is possible to increase the (positive) expectations of older people about their health … self-efficacythis may lead to health behaviors (otherwise suffering from fatalism) that may contribute to better health.
I’m not going to run out to buy white sneakers, flip flops, or a yoga mat, but yesterday I bought a short sleeve shirt. I’m not running anywhere, but I’m walking faster. I encourage myself to challenge mine worryguide me stress I think about aesthetics and realize that the most important thing about my hands, especially after rotator cuff, hand, wrist and elbow surgery, is their function.
I’ll go with “robust” as my definition and carry more than that in my hand gratitude.
