My 92-year-old friend Ann Wenhold told me she recently took a “mini-vacation” from the aging process. Why in the world is a 92-year-old taking a break from old age?
Well, Anna is not “normally” old. After retirement, he ran a multi-day seniors retreat for years, but in his late 80s, decided the travel was too much. Currently, his work is mainly conducted via Zoom. From time to time, he offers an online class on the “tasks of aging” of a person in their late 80s and 90s.
I asked him once if I could join, but he said I was too young. “At 80, you change a lot – physically, mentally and spiritually,” he said, “and young people don’t understand that yet.”
An avid writer herself, Anna has several memoir writing groups she’s helped support over the years; she also coaches writers in private, one-on-one sessions. Before the pandemic, he regularly led a drumming club, went to dinners and classical music concerts with old friends, and occasionally traveled to the west side of the Hudson River Valley to see a couple he adored. Anne is an independent, childless old woman.
About five years ago, Anna’s close friends moved one after another pension remote communities close to their adult children. With each move, Anna’s world shrunk. It didn’t help when his landlord of 15 years sold the duplex he lived in. It took him months to find a new place he could afford, and eventually he had to move several miles away from the small town he loved. The move was confusing at first, but eventually Anne found new places to shop and dine. Still, he misses his old friends.
Despite all the events in her life, Ann is acutely aware that her social world is collapsing. “It’s hard to make new friends at my age,” he said recently. Despite this, he befriended a woman twenty years younger than him who lived down the hall. She recently enrolled in a watercolor class at a local senior center.
Instead of pushing herself to do more, Anna opted for a two-day mini-vacation in her apartment. He gave himself some rest. Sleep was important in Anna’s plan. He would doze off when he wanted to, eat whatever felt good at the moment, and didn’t even bother to get dressed.
during COVIDhe and I started a tradition of sharing Netflix movie and series recommendations and then discussing them. Love is blind and Married at first sight Caught us both mainly trying to figure out who made quality matches and talking about other people’s poor choices.
On a mini-vacation, Ann adjusted Love is blind but did not see. “The loud voices in the background were people I didn’t have to pay attention for, – he said, – like a company I don’t need to worry about. I would just close my eyes and go to sleep and not miss anything, but I wouldn’t feel alone.
However, when Netflix changed itself Love Is Blind: Germany, Anna was hooked. He watched the whole season. The contestants made it more interesting than the US version, especially the one guy who knows he doesn’t want to have kids but wants to find love. He followed her quest and brought her to the finish line. That was all they did for two days.
When we talked about his experience a few days ago, I could hear how much he enjoyed his voice. He was more content and well rested than he had been in weeks. I’ve learned that planning a mini-vacation for yourself can ease the challenges of aging and provide a new perspective on the daily grind. It should be great for your outlook and health.
