Perfectionism is the perfect environment and/or the pursuit of the perfect self to have a perfect self-image. Perfectionism and obsessiveness, in a broader sense, are defenses aimed at managing self-doubt. At their core lies an extremely tortured mind negative thinking about the basic personality of a person. Self-doubt “Am I bad?” can be manifested by such thoughts. “Am I ugly?” “Am I unlovable?” And the perfectionist often finds many good reasons to say yes.
Trying to fight against a mind that tends to personalize (believing that everything bad that happens to them is because of them), mental filtering (failing to perceive the positive aspects of their life), overgeneralization (in this case, seeing everything about them as bad) and denying the positive aspects (finding reasons not to believe that they have positive qualities), abandoning the perfectionist mindset. They believe that they cannot directly tame their thoughts, rather they believe that they can tame their outer life. This, to a large extent, explains their dependence on control.
So, they can become obsessed with changing and improving their appearance (like lookmaxxing) or consider learning as much as possible if they are not confident. intelligence; they may even hide from the world until they feel fully socially competent. The core belief is that once I’m perfect (even if it’s domain-specific), I’ll never have to hate myself again. There is a notion that excellence equals cognitive skill. For example, if I know that I am beautiful, then I will be called ugly, or delusional, or jealous. And this type of reasoning can be applied to a person’s social status, intelligence, or sense of goodness. Perfection, if achieved, provides an emotional escape, thereby eliminating self-doubt. mind reading. Knowing what others think makes you yours social life worry free.
A perfectionist who tends to struggle with black-and-white thinking and fear ambiguity aims to develop comfort through perfect knowledge that comes from perfect action—for example, being “objectively beautiful” is both possible and healing. In therapy, I might ask the perfectionist, “Do you think? therapy Can it help you?” And they may reply, “If possible, it will help me to be beautiful.” In essence, this person is saying that something about the world needs to change in order to change their perspective. The problem is that it may be obvious to you that there is no such thing as perfect beauty, intelligence, and goodness; therefore, regardless of the level of improvement, the perfectionist will always struggle with the uncertainty of who he is. indeed have and how others indeed to perceive them. Can any amount of beauty or intelligence convince you that you are beautiful or brilliant everywhere, always and for everyone? Should it be all or nothing?
However, due to black and white thinking, perfectionists believe that something is either true or not. To use our example again, you are either beautiful or you are not. In black-and-white logic, this means that if you’re beautiful, everyone will believe it (including you and even your haters), and if you’re not, some people will “just be nice” to you, and others will tell you that you’re not. I hope that by reading this, it will become clear why perfectionists struggle so much and how consistent their thinking is. I hope it is clear why they look to the outside for relief from their thoughts, which form complex and undeniably brilliant webs. After all, the fact that we all have the same perception of them makes them feel safe, at least in theory. However, no matter how perfect you think you are, there is no way to know that they will.
So instead of knowing for certain that someone else’s negative perception of you is wrong, it may be more beneficial to let others believe what they want about you. We don’t have to turn every negative thought into a positive one; we must learn how to better tolerate dissent and differing opinions and perceptions. Perfectionist: “If this person doesn’t find me attractive, how can I be sure that the person I love does?” can argue that. Unfortunately, you can’t. But you can guess how they feel about you by how they show up. Do they say they love you? Do they treat you kindly? Do they go out of their way to make you feel special and wanted? And perhaps most importantly, do they care about your imperfections?
Perfectionism is attractive because perfection is clean as opposed to emotional clutter. Perfectionism promises comfort and understanding; brings hope. For those whose senses are inclined to a saw, he offers a map to escape the complex maze. However, your only escape comes from your ability to see through your web of misunderstandings. Can you live in a world where everyone you meet doesn’t think the same way about you? Can you tolerate someone’s love knowing that some cannot and will not love you? And that’s the million dollar question for the perfectionist: Can you live in a world with imperfect conditions and facts?
