Watching Toy story 5 reminded me of some of the most important conversations I’ve had with my grandchildren child development where to start imagination will flourish. under a joke and the adventure explores one of the defining questions of modern childhood: What happens when imaginative, child-led play gradually gives way to screen-based experiences?
As a family therapist, I ask myself a slightly different question. Not only what do children need, but what helps parents create emotional conditions for children’s development? From the perspective of the Bowen family system, healthy development is not about adults carefully managing children, but about gradually nurturing young people who can think for themselves while deeply connected to others. Free play provides one of the richest conditions for such growth in childhood.
Why is fantasy play still important?
Developmental psychology has long recognized that imaginative play is educational creativity, emotional regulationempathy, flexible thinking and problem solving. When children organize games, negotiate rules, resolve disagreements, and avoid mistakes, they are strengthening skills that no amount of adult instruction can teach.
Bowen’s family systems theory reminds us of this endurance grows through experience (relational process) rather than through parenthood techniques. As children deal with the normal ups and downs of play, they gradually learn to regulate themselves rather than relying on adults to manage every situation. The enduring appeal of the Toy Story films lies in the understanding that toys are meaningful because children turn them into stories, friendships and a shared world.
Screens are not a lone villain
One of the film’s strengths is its refusal to make technology the villain. Digital devices are now woven into all of our lives. The development challenge is to ensure that technology complements, rather than replaces, opportunities for imaginative, embodied and relational play. The question is whether screens belong to childhood, but what experiences they can change.
What is missing from childhood?
Historians Peter Stearns and Stephen Mintz argue that the most revolutionary change in childhood after World War II was the change in children’s play. They conclude that “gamification has been one of the most striking features of a major shift in American culture” (Stearns & Mintz, 2025).
In The paradox of parentsI wrote: “There is an alternative narrative to Haidt’s argument, presented by Professor Peter Gray, a research professor at Boston College, who suggests that the loss of free play may have more to do with declining mental health. social networks.”
Rather than just asking what screens are doing to children, we need to ask what is quietly being lost from childhood. As the responsibility of parents and teachers to organize children’s lives increases, opportunities for development trust may be quietly diminished in their thinking, reasoning, and problem solving.
Play reveals the whole child
In Parental Paradox, In one of the many parenting examples I wrote:
“Balanced love connects with the whole child…Dad Jason began to notice how his three children liked to play—how their imaginations worked, what activities they liked to repeat, and what stories piqued their interest. From these observations, he expanded his repertoire as a father, connecting through a genuine interest in each child’s unique personality.”
Watching children play tells us more than just what they like. It reveals how they approach challenges, relationships, and disappointment. cooperationand creativity. Parents often ask me how to connect more deeply with their children. One answer is surprisingly simple: to admire their games. Curiosity reduces parenting worry fosters a stronger connection than anxiety and observation.
Essential reading for parents
This reflects the central idea The paradox of parents: Children’s development is profoundly influenced by the emotional environment contributed by their parents. The growth of parents is one of the greatest gifts they can give a child. “How do I change my child?” rather than asking. “How can I become a parent who contributes to the development of my child?”
Creating more space for play
I often point to the Let It Grow movement as a practical example of encouraging children’s independence through free play and age-appropriate autonomy. Adults remain available for safety, deliberately resisting the urge to organize any interaction.
For many parents, this is the hardest part. Standing back can feel uncomfortable. Parenting yourself means learning to recognize and manage your own anxiety, rather than automatically managing your child’s experience. When parents are less reactive, curious, and tolerant of uncertainty, children have opportunities to think, negotiate, recover, and discover their own potential. This is parentage based on differentiation in action.
Take away
Toy story 5 reminds us that technology belongs to today’s world, but it cannot (and should not) replace imagination, friendshipindependence and free play.
The film also offers a gentle challenge for parents. The healthy development of children depends not only on what we provide, but also on what we refrain from doing. As we grow ourselves—learning to tolerate uncertainty, step back thoughtfully, and trust our children’s developmental abilities—we create an emotional space in which they too can grow.
Perhaps the film’s most psychologically important message is also its simplest: children still need time and space to bring their worlds to life.
