When people think of sports, attention often rely on athletes’ physical abilities, psychological resilience and team achievements (Sarkar and Fletcher, 2014). A less visible but equally important aspect of the sporting experience is the presence of grief in the context of sport. Despite its inevitability, grief in sport is underexamined and often marginalized, forcing athletes, teams and support staff to cope with loss without adequate recognition or systemic support (Pack, 2022).
To emphasize this important topic, thanatologist Emilio Parga, founder and executive director Tree of comfortcreated Special Interest Group (SIG) on Death, Trauma and Informed Grief Helping sport professionals prepare their organizations for the postmortem within the Association for Applied Sport Psychology (AASP). Parga and I recently spoke about the areas of grief studies and how we support athletes after a loss.
How the concept of power causes grief
research on sportsman culture consistently demonstrates norms of assertiveness and emotional control shaping how athletes interpret and respond to distress (Reardon et al., 2019; Rice et al., 2016). A person experiencing grief can feel disempowered, but Parga explains it differently:
“Sports tell a powerful story of strength. Overcome the pain; be tough, control your emotions and keep going no matter what. For athletes, these messages are about both. motivation and person. Athletes see strength as discipline, composure, and resilience under pressure. These beliefs are formed in unusual ways endurancebut grief has a way of exposing the limits of even the strongest performance mindset. Grief doesn’t follow the rules of sports, and grief doesn’t have a magical ending.
When a teammate dies, the world doesn’t simply “reset” after the tribute ends. Many athletes describe a return to a seemingly unchanged environment. The daily routines and expectations remain the same, but an integral part of the team is missing – the person who died. Strength can include the expression of feelings associated with grief.
What does grief look like in a sports environment?
In sport settings, research suggests that the experience of loss, including the death of a teammate, can undermine personality, psychological safety, and performance stability (Atkins & Lorelle, 2024; O’Brien et al., 2025). As Parga points out, grief rarely manifests itself acutely. It often works silently in the body and mind and can look like this:
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Fatigue that feels unfamiliar
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Difficulty concentrating
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Irritability for no apparent reason
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Emotional changes that seem disproportionate
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Sleepless minutes
Grief is not the same for everyone
Helping athletes understand that everyone experiences grief differently provides an opportunity to honestly reflect on a person’s unique and individual expression of grief. Parga made this point:
“Grief rarely looks the same from person to person. One athlete may be immersed in training, while another may be focused. Someone may express. feeling openly, the other may retreat.’
Research consistently shows wide variability in the response to grief (Atkins & Lorelle, 2024), but athletes frequently and relentlessly compare themselves to others. They may think, “Why am I not handling this better?” or “Everyone seems fine, why do I feel bad?”
Research about mental health stigma helps explain this internal communication among athletes. Athletes are often reluctant to disclose grief for a number of reasons fear judgment, poor visibility concerns, or performance consequences (Küttel et al., 2020; Rice et al., 2016). Staying silent about grief risks emphasizing a culture of ignoring difficult-to-manage emotions rather than creating a space for healing them.
Deaths by suicide
Suicide remains the second leading cause of death among athletes (accidents are the first non-medical cause of death) (Whelan, 2024). When the death involves suicide, the silence often deepens. Suicide carries layers of stigma, discomfort, and uncertainty. Athletes may struggle with questions they feel are dangerous, and coaches may worry about saying the wrong thing.
Telling the truth politely and honestly helps stabilize the environment. Research shows that being active in personalizing the nature of the loss (specific and individual rituals) enhances a sense of community, while avoiding discussion can make people feel isolated (Marek & Oexle, 2024). Likewise, suicide studies loss open, compassionate communication reduces isolation and supports healthy adjustment (Andriessen et al., 2017; Marek & Oexle, 2024).
What can we say to people who are grieving?
Grief doesn’t require perfect words. Often, what’s missing from grieving communities is permission to feel their feelings and share their thoughts. Athletes wait for recognition, coaches wait for cues, and silence fills the gap between them. “What people often need is very simple,” Parga explained. He said simple phrases like these can often help:
“It is tough.”
“It’s important.”
“You are not alone.”
One athlete described the relief of hearing similar, simple words: “We didn’t need speeches. We just needed someone to say, ‘Sure, it’s hard.'”
What can we do to help?
Grief expands the definition of strength. Strength is being present when emotions are uncomfortable, providing healing and safe responses without judgment. Connecting with others during healing allows people to move forward without pretending that nothing has changed. In sports, strength is often associated with endurance. In grief, strength becomes honesty, and perhaps the most important truth for athletes to remember: feeling emotion is not a performance handicap.
Athletes, staff, coaches and others in the sports environment can consider:
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Emphasize sharing feelings as a strength. Athletes are used to celebrating with teammates and may be less used to sharing difficult feelings. Sharing feelings about grief, loss, and death can help others open up to their own healing process.
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Because everyone experiences grief differently, It can serve to educate people about the different ways we experience, express, and manage personal distress symptoms.
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Suicide directly breaks the silent escape from a difficult subject. Talk about commit suicide thoughts, actions, and consequences can help people open up about their feelings about losing someone to suicide and even help them express their thoughts about suicide or death.
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It can be difficult to find something to say to someone who is upset. Simple phrases like “You’re not alone” or “I’m here for you” can be very meaningful.
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Regular registration can help grieving people understand that others feel the loss too and that there is constant support for the ups and downs that people experience after death.
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Call a consultant helping those who have experienced loss can help set the stage for ongoing conversations about grief, loss, and healing.
Grief has no expiration date
People often ask when they will feel better. Grief has no shelf life, but people can learn how to manage it over time. Strength in sports and in life is not moving on from grief or forgetting; strength is learning how to move forward while continuing to honor what is important. Grief doesn’t go away, but it can be something you live with rather than something that stops you. Over time, it exists with purpose, connection, and parts of life that keep moving forward.
If you or a loved one is having suicidal thoughts, get help right away. For help 24/7, dial 988 for the Suicide & Crisis Lifeline or contact the Crisis Text Line by texting TALK to 741741. To find a therapist near you, visit the address below. Directory of psychology therapy today.
