To fight soon body image Nancy plans to go to the gym on her way home from work. This is a stressful day, and even though her gym clothes were in the car, Nancy decided at the last minute that she wasn’t feeling it. He goes home and relaxes on the couch.
When he slows down, his the inner critic It’s accelerated by messages like “You’re just lazy,” “You never follow through on your plans,” and “You always start something but can’t follow through on it.”
Does Nancy’s story sound familiar? perform the experiments of guilt and shame Will encourage Nancy to train or eventually destroy Nancy motivation to be more physically active?
First, Nancy’s story represents guilt or shame? If it’s just guilt, Nancy feels guilty about not going to the gym and then moves on. However, Nancy’s internal dialogue goes beyond a single act and includes labels about her personalitymeans that there is shame.
In terms of our mental health, shame seems to be more harmful than guilt. We often experience shame when we believe we are being judged by others. After overeating, a person may feel guilty, but when there is shame, the person cannot control himself or feels that he is defective in some way.
There is some evidence that shame serves a functional purpose, helping to change behavior and helping the individual to refocus. self regulation. In the past, this belief led medical and mental health professionals to try to motivate their patients and clients through guilt trips. However, more recent evidence support that shame actually impairs motivation and negatively affects health and well-being.
In the literature, the so-called “persistent shame.chronic shame” is exacerbated by the anticipation of shame, which is a constant feeling that something is wrong or that we are flawed in some way.
Nancy may experience chronic shame related to her body dissatisfaction. If she experiences weight-loss messages day in and day out from friends, family members, and health professionals, these negative messages are likely to be contained. In other words, he believes these negative messages and this leads directly to chronic shame.
A person whose body does not conform to the shape accepted by society not only feels bad for engaging in (or not engaging in) certain behaviors, but also believes that there is something wrong with his mind or body and that he is to blame.
Researchers have found that shame does not inspire people to engage in health-promoting behaviors. Instead, shame does the opposite. Shame impairs physical and mental health several ways:
- Biological: Shame is a stress response that increases cortisol levels and ultimately increases inflammation.
- Psychological: Shame is associated with poor mental health (depression, worryand eating disorders) along with alcoholism and addiction.
- Behavior: Experienced individuals weight stigma (which causes shame) engages in eating more, avoiding exercise, and avoiding health care.
- Social: Related to shame social isolation. In addition, those experiencing marginalization or even fear or anticipation of social rejection, worsened health.
What can we do to reduce shame in ourselves and others?
1. Cultivate self-compassion
Pay attention the inner critic. Is what you say to yourself what you would say to a good friend? Will Nancy tell the man she loves so much, “you’re just being lazy”? We hope not. According to a self-compassion researcher Dr. Christine Neffholding on to self-compassion means being kind to yourself.
If you don’t follow a plan, it’s more helpful to approach your missteps with gentleness and encouragement. First, admit how you feel. Nancy might think, “I’m disappointed that I didn’t go to the gym as much as I had planned. I think it would have helped me deal with stress.”
Then ask yourself what you would say to a good friend who decided not to go to the gym. Instead, talk to yourself like this. Nancy might say, “I made the best decision today given the difficult day I’ve had. And tomorrow, when I’m in the same situation, I’ll have more information to make an informed decision about my self-care needs.”
2. Understand the complexities of health
Health outcomes go beyond personal health-related changes. factors such as geneticsthe social determinants of health (SDoH) and health disparities marginalized individuals are all factors.
Our health is not dependent on a decision to change behavior, and while it can contribute to chronic disease over time, there are other very powerful contributors that we often overlook. Some people are the epitome of health in terms of diet, exercise, sleep, and avoiding drugs and alcohol and still get sick.
The blame game is not only demeaning, it’s just plain false. Attributing our physical health outcomes solely to our “lifestyle,” habits, and patterns misses important pieces of the health puzzle, which are often beyond our control. This helps keep health patterns as one small slice of a very large pie.
3. Talk about empathy and non-judgment
Whether we are talking to ourselves or talking to others, remember that a guilt trip is unhelpful and creates a lot of negative energy. Trying to convince others to change by telling them why their current situation does not support their health can seriously damage your relationship.
Don’t assume that those who express concern about their habits want to know your thoughts or opinions. They often just want a listening ear—someone to share empathy and common humanity. Using guilt and shame as motivation for change is usually unmotivating and counterproductive, resulting in inaction and more likely to damage human connection.
