are you happy Is your life meaningful? Most of us intuitively feel that this is not the same question. A person may feel happy, but carried or deeply purposeful sadness. In this post I will explore the difference between the two happiness and meaningfulness, and what happens when the two diverge.
Happiness is relatively easy to understand. Happy people experience more pleasant emotions than unpleasant ones and are generally more satisfied with their lives.
However, meaningfulness speaks to something deeper. Psychologists George Login and Crystal Park identify meaning in life the degree to which life feels coherent, purposeful, and meaningful. A meaningful life is a life where you feel that your existence matters.
Both happiness and contentment are measures of the good life, so it is not surprising that they are strongly connected with each other. But how are they different?
Separating happiness from meaningfulness
One of my favorite psychology studies addressed this question. Researchers Roy Baumeister and colleagues US adults were surveyed about how happy and meaningful they feel their lives are. They also collected information about the participants’ habits, attitudes, emotional experiences and priorities. They then tested the relationship between happiness and meaningfulness and other outcomes, adjusting for others.
Their findings were surprising.
Participants who described their lives as easy, healthy, and financially secure reported greater happiness, but these factors were not significantly related to meaningfulness. Happiness seems to have more to do with satisfying one’s needs and wants than with being meaningful.
Happy participants also focused more on the present moment. However, people who spent more time thinking about the past and future reported less happiness, but greater meaning in life.
Researchers have found that greater meaning is linked to helping others, while happiness is closely linked to self-care.
Interestingly, people with multiple experiences stressful or negative life events reported less happiness but more meaning. Worriers also tended to find more meaning in life despite feeling less happy.
Finally, participants rated the extent to which 37 activities reflected their true selves. Of the 37 activities, 25 are related to meaningfulness, while only 2 are related to happiness.
Adapting to human values
Perhaps the latest set of findings suggests that meaningfulness consists of living up to one’s deepest values. A meaningful life is not always a comfortable life. They are real life.
If you want to develop more meaning, start by identifying your core values. Here is a list of values you can take a look. One obvious exercise is to imagine that you know for certain that you only have twelve months to live. How would you spend your time? Your answer may reveal what your most cherished values are.
The four types of life
Combining the different levels of happiness and fulfillment, we can begin to envision four broad types of lives that are described in the 2 x 2 matrix we have developed below.
The A full life both happy and meaningful. This is the ideal that many people dream of – a life full of joy, purpose and connection.
The Nice Life the level of happiness is high, but the content is low. People who live this life are often described as happy, living in the moment, but a little self-absorbed.
The Precious life high in meaningfulness but low in happiness. This life often involves sacrifice, struggle, or pain in service of something deeply valued.
Finally, An empty life devoid of both happiness and meaning. It is characterized by joylessness, disconnection and lack of direction.
Unlocking precious life
Essential readings of happiness
I want to experience the expensive life because it captures something important that modern conversations about well-being often overlook.
What does it mean to live a meaningful but happy life? Here are some examples:
- Choosing to love and give grace to a difficult family member, even if you get little in return.
- Leaving the profitable things behind career continuing service-oriented work despite low pay and harsh conditions.
- Courageously speak out against injustice, even if it hurts your social status.
- Facing painful truths about yourself, your past, or loved ones in the pursuit of growth and healing.
- Stay committed to a long-term goal you believe in, despite repeated setbacks and elusive successes.
These experiences are rarely easy. However, if you tell someone committed to an expensive life that they should only prioritize pleasure or comfort, they may find such a life shallow compared to the enjoyment that comes from living up to their values.
Some may even describe their path as a calling. Something bigger than themselves is theirs conscienceGod or love – gravity affects their lives.
To be clear, my point is not that you should always prioritize meaningfulness over happiness. But I hope that this discussion helps to better understand the choices of those who accept a precious life.
Reflections on Gratitude
If your gratitude if you only come from pleasant experiences, you may be neglecting the most meaningful parts of life, such as living courageously, loving deeply, serving others, or pursuing a worthy career.
Once you begin to see meaning as a form of goodness, you may realize that there are more reasons to be grateful in your life than you ever imagined. And if you learn to live a precious life, you will be better able to explain to the people around you why your life is good, even if it contains difficulties and struggles.
I will close with a personal comment. Last year my father was diagnosed with a serious illness and I flew to Singapore to spend two weeks with him. I spent Christmas Eve sitting next to him in the hospital.
Was I happy? Not so much. I have cried more in those two weeks than I have in years. But was the experience meaningful? Absolutely. I was exactly where I was supposed to be. And I am grateful to have spent time with him.
Animals, like people, can experience happiness. I’m not sure they live a meaningful life.
But living according to one’s deepest values, pursuing something truly important, devoting oneself to something greater than comfort or pleasure, can be one of life’s most defining human experiences.
This episode is the 10th episode of the mini-series Types of goodness. This is also visible in my Substack a newsletter on the science and practice of gratitude.
