Did you know that these seemingly innocent statements are sometimes expressions of emotional blackmail? That’s right. All is not as it seems.
Emotional blackmail phrases to manipulate you, plain and simple. They are designed only with the speaker’s interests in mind. It doesn’t matter how these phrases hurt you, because it’s not about you. This is about them. So, no matter how innocent they may seem, these words can plant the seeds of doubt, so you need to be careful.
Recognition of expressions of emotional blackmail
In order to be strong, maintain healthy boundaries, and increase your self-worth, you must learn to recognize when someone is using you. emotional blackmail. And I’m not talking about open insults, no. Emotional blackmail can be tricky, and sometimes you don’t know when it’s going to be used against you.
That’s because it sometimes comes in the form of innocent enough sounding phrases you’ve heard before. So, let’s take a look at some examples to help you understand the structure and feeling of these words and sentences.
1. “You’re too sensitive.”
I’m sure you’ve heard this many times, especially from your family members, right? I know there is. I think there is something about being sad or upset that makes manipulators feel uncomfortable. Maybe in that second the manipulator will see the damage he has done with his words or actions. But it doesn’t last.
For example, if a manipulator says something mean to you and it hurts you, they might say: “You are very sensitive” for avoid apologizing. After all, some people can never do wrong in their eyes.
2. “I don’t want to argue.”
When someone says this, they can mean several things. Maybe they really don’t want to argue, or they just try to avoid communication altogether.
I’ve noticed that no matter how you approach a subject, some people just can’t communicate. And sometimes, people secretly loves drama says it calmly. But they do not want peace; they just want their way.
3. “Whatever”
Honestly, I’ve said it before, and yes, I’ve tried to blackmail someone with it. I am guilty and therefore know exactly where this expression comes from. It’s not innocent at all.
You do not agree with what is being said to you. In fact, you absolutely hate the other person’s decisions or statements and words “whatever” basically, it means they need to rethink their decisions to be more in line with what you believe. You see how manipulative it can be?
Watch out for one-word statements like these. This is one of the most subtle emotional blackmail phrases out there.
4. “I thought you would appreciate what I did.”
In a healthy relationship, it’s about acknowledging that you’ve done something nice for your partner. But in an unhealthy relationship, ie narcissistic type individualsthis phrase is often used after the limit has been exceeded.
Manipulative people will, for example, make an appointment for you or plan a social activity without you asking, and then have the nerve to say such things. They want to be thanked for doing something they were never asked to do. If you don’t appreciate it too, they’ll get angry. This is bad.
Emotional blackmail can be subtle and designed to make you look like the bad guy.
5. “I don’t want anyone to get the wrong idea about you.”
This is one of the emotional blackmail phrases I hate the most. I hate the ongoing relationship police. This is a particularly insidious statement applied to women and the clothes they choose to wear. Even adults are controlled by their partners with such statements.
The truth is, it’s not your job to control what people think of you. As an adult, you should be able to look or dress the way you like and not be blamed for other people’s indiscretions. I think you get my point here.
6. “If you really care…”
It is blackmail, but it can be disguised as something else because it plays on the guilt of the other party. If the manipulator can convince you that your actions are causing the problem, they can also convince you that you don’t care because you chose those actions.
The truth is that you care about yourself and many times the actions you take are to improve your life. If the things you do to improve your life don’t benefit them, they will try to blackmail you into doing something else.
7. “I was just kidding.”
I’ve talked about this before, maybe a few times. I can’t stress enough how offensive this seemingly innocuous phrase can be to the average person. Of all the emotional blackmail phrases out there, this one might be the simplest to those who haven’t heard how it works.
Let me break this down for you: they will say rude, even downright abusive things to you. When you are upset, they: “I was just kidding“. This is an attempt to make it seem like you are overreacting to their joke. The truth is, they were never joking, and they don’t have the guts to stand behind what they said. They are cowards.
Emotional blackmail and how to protect yourself
Sometimes it seems easy to protect yourself from manipulators and blackmailers. But let’s be honest, sometimes people find themselves in situations where they don’t have a clear escape plan. Poor mental health can lead someone to believe that they deserve such treatment, and this is a lie. No one deserves to be manipulated.
For whatever reason, you have to keep fighting toxic behavior. Yes, it’s exhausting, and yes, it’s hurtful, but you don’t let your hatred infect another person. Because why else would anyone say such things to their loved ones? This is because they hate themselves and they can’t accept love because they feel they don’t deserve it.
But trying to help someone with toxic behavior can be dangerous. If they don’t ask for help, they can drag you down with them. Every time you call them out on their behaviorthey just look for a better way to express something or find another way to manipulate you. Therefore, it is important to learn how they work.
You can get rid of it, but it will take time. Emotional blackmail phrases, like any other manipulation, are based on lies and low self-esteem. Knowing this helps to be free.
Staff writer at Studying the mind
Sherry Heard is a professional writer and illustrator with over 20 years of experience. As a survivor of childhood trauma and various forms of abuse, she is an advocate for mental health awareness. Sherry manages several mental illnesses including anxiety disorder, bipolar disorder and PTSD. With this knowledge and personal experience, she strives to help others overcome trauma and abuse, cope with mental illness, and heal over time.
