We are obsessed with the “next”.
Next promotion. Next rest. Next weekend. Next notice.
We live our lives as if we are living in a waiting room for this big event that will never begin.
Because we are always looking forward, but never really to here.
This is the ultimate fallacy in thinking: Believing that life is something that happens later.
When you live this way, time evaporates.
You wake up on Monday, blink, today is Friday. You celebrate the New Year, dazzling and October.
If you feel like life is going too fast, it’s because you’re not living it.
You just think about it.
Most people don’t want treatment, they want relief
Anthony de Mello was a Jesuit priest and psychotherapist known for combining Eastern and Western spirituality.
in his book, Reinventing Life: Awakening to Realityhe points out that most people’s lives are a mess.
When people protest that they have good jobs and families, he suggests a simple acid test:
“Have you ever felt lonely? Have a heartache? Have you ever been upset about anything?”
If the answer is yes, you are in a mess.
But here is the hard truth he shared: You don’t want to end up confused. You just want relief.
We want the anxiety to go awaybut we don’t want to give up on things that cause anxiety.
We want happiness, but we are caught up in the “thrill” of getting what we want.
De Mello’s point is that nothing can actually hurt you. You hurt yourself because of your attachments.
You believe that “if I don’t have X, I can’t be happy.” This is a false belief. You block the natural state of happiness by clinging to prestige, money, and expectations.
The trap of being
Jiddu Krishnamurti was a renowned thinker and speaker who spent his life encouraging people to free themselves from psychological conditions.
in his book, Think about these thingshe explains that our entire educational system is built on imitation rather than discovery.
They tell us to be like our successful uncle, saint or billionaire. But when you want to “be” something, you are no longer free.
Krishnamurti:
“When you’re doing something with all your being, not because you want to get somewhere, but because you just love doing it – there’s no ambition in that, is there?”
Think about it… Ambition is cruel to yourself.
It creates a conflict between where you are and where you should be.
“Oh, I must be more successful than I am,” you think at random.
This internal war is why you will never be present. You are too busy living up to the self-image society has given you.
An intelligent mind is an inquiring mind.
It is the mind that sees, learns, and remains “immaculate.” A mind preoccupied with worry or “being” is a dull mind. He cannot solve problems because he is busy protecting his ego.
Stop playing the safe game
We are afraid of being alone. We fear that there will be no “resting place” for our minds.
This is how we build walls of traditions, customs and social status.
It’s all a form of escapism.
But the sad thing is that we think we are playing it safe. That’s because it’s a game others are playing And as Krishnamurti says:
“Those who play safe will die very safe.”
But they don’t live. To truly live you must be like a river; moving endlessly, overflowing its banks, seeping into every crevice.
A mind that seeks validation and security soon stagnates and falls apart.
The solution is not to “try” to be present or “try” to be smart. You in the moment give it a try to become something you have already lost.
The solution is to understand that…
- Your restlessness comes from within, not from the world.
- wanting to be famous is a sign that you feel like a nobody.
- you don’t need people to be happy; you need to get in touch with reality.
It’s important to understand that you don’t have to be like everyone else. You can simply stop playing the same game that society is playing.
You can put your happiness first.
Your last day
Musonius Rufus was one of the four great philosophers of the Roman Stoics and the teacher of Epictetus.
He was known for his ethics and practical approach to life. In it Lectures and speechessaid openly:
“Today can’t be lived well unless you think it’s your last day.”
If today was your last day, would you spend it thinking about the next month?
Do you use it to make yourself important to people you don’t like?
Of course not. You would just be be.
So stop always thinking about what’s next.
Look around you…really. Stop defining things or trying to explain everything.
Just watch! Learn from everything.
When you stop trying to get somewhere, you will eventually get there.
