You’re having a conversation with someone younger than you, perhaps a patient, a student, someone you follow on the Internet, or your own child, and suddenly the conversation stops making sense.
“This movie was in the middle.”
“I’m not gonna lie, it’s kind of slow.”
“He gives the main character energy.”
“It’s very strange.”
You understand the words separately, at least some of them. But they are connected, they have no meaning.
As a psychotherapist and mother of a teenager, I hear this language not only in passing, but every day in emotionally deep and layered conversations. Slang is how people describe relationships, worry, attractionand even their sense of self. Gen Z trends trickle down to Gen Alpha, they are already pushing the language, talking about terms like brain rot, rizz, low key or “6-7” that I have yet to decode.
Slang has always been about belonging. Each generation develops its own language as a way of strengthening persontaste and cultural harmony.
It acts as a social signal and serves to distinguish one generation from the previous generation. People are wired to form groups and a common language is the fastest way to determine who belongs and who doesn’t. When someone understands the jokes, references, and metaphors of the conversation, they are accepted as part of the group or movement.
Teens and young adults use slang to create a cultural password, an easy way to identify their online peers in the same game rooms, music scenes, or other social ecosystems.
But unlike previous generations, when buzz spread through school corridors, today’s buzz is spread digitally and therefore affects a wider group and appears and disappears faster than ever before.
An expression may appear in A TikTok distribute the video through otherwise disconnected communities, and then within a few weeks enter into a daily conversation. When older generations hear it, this expression may already change its meaning.
Interestingly, slang for Gen Z and Gen Alpha serves as an emotional language online. For example, “medium” is used to refer to something that is not impressive, “sus” evokes distrustand “main character energy” to convey trust.
Many of these phrases are used to compress complex emotions like discomfort, anxiety, longing, sadness, and skepticism into bite-sized structures that can be conveyed in seconds.
In a fast-moving digital environment, where attention intervals are short and communication occurs through texts and memessuch a conversation will be extremely effective.
For the generation growing up on the Internet, there is a constant negotiation of wanting to be seen, but not wanting to be exposed. Today’s youth use sarcasm as a way to overdo it and rely on it a joke and sarcasm to express themselves while maintaining emotional distance. This is especially attractive in a digital culture where vulnerability can be dangerous. This creates a psychological buffer and allows them to communicate their vulnerability while maintaining plausible deniability. If a comment provokes negative responses, it can easily be turned off by switching to humor.
Why is it harder now?
Adults often think that the challenge comes from unfamiliar vocabulary, changes in tone, or abbreviations, but the real challenge is context.
Many buzzwords only make sense in certain cultural ecosystems, such as TikTok videos, influencers, meme cultures, fashion trends, or music scenes. When Gen Alpha talks about “brain rot” they mean a state of numbness that’s hard to turn off, at least that’s what I think it means. These expressions are not intended to be translated precisely, so they are not. They come from experiences that someone not born with an iPhone in hand can never fully understand.
It’s easy to dismiss slang as superficial, but remember that an entire generation returns to it to connect. In many ways, jargon becomes a GPS that guides people to their interests, communities, and even their own emotions.
Different listening
If you’re trying to adapt to a changing language, maybe you should stop trying. A language used to take decades to develop and evolve, but now it moves faster than seasons. The truth is, we don’t have to fully understand it. If our children have their own language, we can live on the edge of it. The most important thing is to have the ability to truly listen and appreciate what lies beneath. If they call something disgusting, it doesn’t matter what word they use to describe their discomfort. The important thing is to understand the source of the distress or discomfort. Or when they say “it’s a slap” to find out what moves them and what they connect with. Or when they talk about wanting a “softer life”, the most important thing is to understand what they want or what overcomes them. It is important to be curious and pay attention to what they are trying to communicate.
Because what doesn’t change is that our children look to us when they’re in trouble, confused, or scared. Let’s face it, the world is scarier than ever, so who cares how they communicate their feelings.
