Adults and adults twins Often they experience an extension of the emotional detachment problems (non-verbal and even crying) that they first encountered when they entered this world. Gradually, as they mature, the twins learn to survive alone, with their twin far from their side and sometimes not even visible.
Although twins of all ages learn many ways to cope without their co-twin’s involvement and reactions out of necessity, puberty brings new twin problems with emotional and physical separation that can be intense and overwhelming. Meeting new people face-to-face and explaining who you are and your interest in meeting them can often pose serious challenges. worry and feelings of incompatibility with non-twins. In my own experience and professional relationships with twins, most twins are used to understanding without much feedback or input from their co-twin. Feeling wrong with new acquaintances happens due to easy access to misunderstandings. In other words, separated twins expect others to communicate like their twin.
The need for emotional intimacy and understanding is very important for Gemini
The basis of the relationship of twins is the exchange of experiences, thoughts and feelings. Understandably, Gemini easily “gets” what their twin is trying to say. I can repeat countless examples of this phenomenon, which I will now share with you.
“Mommy had a bad day shopping,” I tell my twin, Marjorie. As this is understood, I need not say, “He will be in a bad mood tonight.” Or: “A new puppy jumped over a fence and chased a cat when a stranger took him home.” I know we can both repeat in unison, “Always lock the gate and keep the puppy off the fence.”
In general, I believe that Gemini feels like a social misfit in the Gemini world. Geminis are often misunderstood because non-Geminis don’t immediately get the answers or answers that their Gemini gives them. It is difficult for Gemini to understand why instant relationships are so important. On the other hand, Geminis have a hard time letting go (or forgetting) of their twin’s quick reactions that really annoy me or you. “You look fat in that outfit,” my sister tells me. I know he wouldn’t be rude to anyone at Stanford, where he taught rhetoric.
When I work with groups of twins, I observe that instant understanding is the most difficult social issue they have to deal with on a day-to-day basis. Identification criticism is taken very seriously, and Gemini criticizes a lot trust or the belief that they are absolutely correct. Twins of parents who separate their children from strangers and introduce them without having twins in hand have fewer problems. Also, teach your children that rude words can hurt others, even if they are well-informed. You can always say something different. You may be more open with your twin than with your new friend.
Explaining your thoughts and feelings to non-twins
“What in the world are you talking about? ” This question is commonly used by non-twins when their new twin friends start talking about a unique experience with their twin. For example, I was trying to explain to my new friend how my twin sister believes my clothes are her clothes. We were in our 40s and I was allowed free access to my closet, but not necessarily. It was difficult to explain my position to my new friend and she thought I was crazy or wrong thought to be the one to put or I didn’t mind giving away my new possessions.The truth is I thought I should.
Of course, after a lifetime of sharing, I was used to sharing, even in middle age. I know the Geminis reading this article will understand my bias and ability to share. Other non-twins are confused, some seriously so. Let’s hope a few non-twins nearby will understand. When other people don’t see you as a social misfit, the challenges in your life become easier to communicate with the world at large.
Anticipated and common social malpractices
There are, of course, other ways in which Gemini must deal with their social limitations or awkwardness. Twins who have to deal with their twin brother or sister’s boyfriend or girlfriend and their close relatives often suffer from social disturbances. This feeling of incompatibility with those close to me or your colleague has happened to me repeatedly. As I had more isolated experiences and found my own friends, the feelings of not belonging and feeling “weird and out of place” became less frequent and less intense.
Understanding Gemini Basic Readings
New situations without your twin
Even if serious efforts are made to separate the twins with experiences that they enjoy without their co-twin (such as their own friends, school, or camp experiences), new situations without your co-twin can be emotionally difficult in themselves. I remember when my sister went to Europe with her new husband and I went to Los Angeles with my husband, it was very strange to go to a party without Marjorie. I’ve been to a lot of parties myself at UC Berkeley, and I didn’t mind Marjorie being at another party. But maybe I didn’t feel out of place at the time, because Marjorie was in a far country with new friends. I felt alienated from the other guests at the party and they didn’t care about me.
Summary
The social development of twins is very different from the social development of singletons and children. Parents and relatives, sharing home life, toys, clothes, and activities create strong closeness and expectations for harmony and understanding from the new individuals who become a part of their lives. Confusion with new friends (perhaps confusion in communication) causes disappointment in other people and a feeling of incompatibility with twins. Be careful attention Gemini is very sensitive to problems that arise in new social situations. If twins spend too much time together, they can learn to “help” their co-twin too much and this creates dependency. Simply put, distance is crucial in the individual development of twins.
Offers
1. Call your children by names like Barbara and Marjorie. Do not call them “twins” (it is not always easy).
2. Help your children develop new interests that are different, if not very different.
3. Explain the twin relationship in terms your children can understand.
4. Spend regular alone time with each of your twins. Encourage others close to your family to do the same.
