How to Cope with Feeling Unwanted, Abandoned, and Unloved ⋆ LonerWolf

You feel anger and deep pain. How could they leave you so cruelly and without a second thought?

How can they take your love and trust and throw it to the wind like it doesn’t matter – like YOU don’t matter?

If there is experienced abandonment you will discover how far back the wounds of being “second rate” or “worthless” in your previous life (often you can trace them back to childhood) through inner child work). You understand very well how feeling unwanted has changed who you are and how you relate to others.

I learned something my inner workings way abandonment takes many different shapes and forms. Feeling unwanted and unloved can manifest itself physically, emotionally, psychologically, and even spiritually. But what all the different aspects of neglect have in common is the huge hole they leave in our lives.

Today I want to explore the void within you.

“I don’t deserve this” may be your main wound

When we experience a severe form of abandonment or neglect, especially at a young age, the trauma of that experience stays with us for the rest of our lives. But these amazing experiences continue inside us only if we cannot learn them. Left unexamined for long enough, these experiences become our core traumas, or unconsciously our deepest core beliefs about ourselves.

As Sol wrote in his article “How to identify your deepest, darkest core wound“:

Our core wounds are our deepest seated pains in life. They are our oldest and most unfortunate friends. For most of us, these core wounds within us are governed by the following two false beliefs:

“I am flawed and therefore a bad person.”

“I need to change or fix something about myself to be accepted.”

Other common traumas that result from negative emotions are: “I’m not worth it,” “I’m unlovable,” and “I’m broken beyond repair.”

4 ways to deal with feeling unwanted and unloved

We find ourselves in what I call the Age of Individualism. Our ability to communicate empathetically and meaningfully with others is “ME FIRST!” will be broken as a result of what we say. corporate and materialistic culture, we find that our families, friendships and relationships are as unstable as ever. Because of this, many of us experience the isolation of being abandoned, deceived, and forgotten.

What can we do to explore and heal these underlying wounds? How can we tear down the brick walls that shelter the fragmented remains of our hearts? And finally, how can we become stronger, whole people again?

Like you, I have experienced abandonment in many shapes and forms. Like you, I suffered greatly as a result. But today I want to give you something proactive that will allow you to take control of your life again.

Here’s what I learned about experiencing the pain of being unwanted:

1. Many do not want themselves

In other words, most people do not like, respect or even value themselves. There is a big one self love scarcity in our society is reflected in every layer of our lives. As a result, those of us who struggle with self-love tend to sabotage our relationships with others. How can a person who does not know how to love himself show love to others? This will not happen. Understanding this will help you better empathize with others, or at least understand why they behave the way they do.

2. You are a victim of circumstance, but you don’t have to feel sorry for yourself

I discovered this the hard way: the more you sacrifice yourself and romanticize pain, the more you get stuck in cycles of misery and misery. protest. It’s tempting to secretly use our stories of abandonment and mistreatment to make ourselves feel righteous and special, but the truth is, it does more harm than good. Grieving a loss is a natural state cycle of griefbut constantly revisiting and dwelling on our stories is unhealthy and even self destruction. I have found that accepting what has happened is critical to the process of inner growth and change. self pity.

3. Everyone has different mental abilities

Just as everything in life goes through stages of maturity, so does the soul. Why are some people born? old spiritsand others will remain young at heart until death? I believe the answer lies in what I call spiritual maturity. I will explore this concept further in my book. Mental maturity defines our ability to think ahead, have empathy, compassion and skill unconditional love – and all these factors affect our attitude towards others. For example, some people are naturally afraid of the “other” and blindly oriented, while others are open, accepting and peace-loving.

So what does all this have to do with feeling unwanted and abandoned? The thing is, some people just don’t have the ability to be truly kind, considerate, and loyal—at least not yet. They have not yet reached spiritual maturity. Thus, their behavior can appear indifferent, careless and even cruel.

Realizing that everyone has different spiritual abilities has helped me to become a more gentle and forgiving person.

4. You can fill that empty hole YOURSELF

It sounds crazy, right? How can we fill it up empty holes inside ourselves? Don’t we need other people to do it for us by default? No, no. As children we did, but not as adults. Unfortunately, many of us still have the subconscious belief that we need to find someone else to help us to be whole and complete. But have you ever questioned the validity or truth of this belief? Don’t get me wrong, other people can give you a lot of help and support, but they can never fill the void inside of you. Only you can.

But how? One of the best ways I’ve learned to do this (especially if you were emotionally, mentally, or physically abandoned as a child) is to learn how to reparent your parents. the inner child. However, if you are suffering from unlovedness as an adult (perhaps as a result of a breakup or divorce), self-love is the best way to deal with it. trauma. In another article, learn how to love yourself more.

Final thoughts…

Learning to love yourself is hard—learning to re-educate your inner child is hard, too—but both are important tools to help you become vulnerable again, and therefore ready to give and receive love.

What do you think about the tips in this article? Have you been able to overcome your unwanted feelings, and if so, how?