I want to tell you about a three-part goal.
Let’s begin.
Part I: The Social Script Trap
Most of us start our lives on autopilot.
It’s not because we’re lazy. This is because we are trained to follow the “Script”.
You know one: get a degree. Getting to work. Get the promotion. Make some money. And so on.
Until I turned 28, I was perfectly fine with the script. From the outside, my life looked good. Inside I always felt something was missing.
I’m doing everything right, but I often wake up with a feeling of quiet dread.
My days were spent in a busyness that led nowhere. I felt like I was living someone else’s plan.
Why did I do what I did? What is the purpose of everything?
I started looking into the future and thinking, “How long can I keep this up?” I thought.
In the end, the gap was too high to ignore. I decided to find a worthy goal.
I made a commitment to myself: pursue only those things that make you feel you are living a worthy life.
I started writing because that’s what I wanted to do. I can’t really explain why I started writing.
I just had the feeling that “You should write”.
As soon as I started, I got a lot of energy from the workout.
When I wrote my first book, Win the internal battlestime has disappeared.
The fear I felt before is also gone. I woke up every morning so driven to work on the book that I forgot everything. I was motivated and disciplined by nature.
The book was so important to me that I just sat down and wrote every day.
That book lit a fire in my belly that lasted nearly a decade. From 2015 to 2024, I walked at this pace. I wrote and built. I had direction.
Then I hit the ceiling.
Part II: Achievement Addiction
When my career began, a general idea began to form in my mind.
I told myself, “The ultimate goal is to get a book deal with a major publisher.”
This is a more sophisticated version of social scripting. This is the need for an external state.
I made it my mission to get the “real” deal. In 2022, I signed a contract with Portfolio Penguin The Stoic Path to Wealth. That felt like an achievement in itself.
The book was released in 2024. It sold well. It has been translated into 25 languages. I lost my advance before the book even hit the shelves. On paper it was a success.
But here’s the truth about big wins: They will not change you.
I expected to feel different. I didn’t even know what kind of difference.
This is a common thread for all of us. We set a goal in our head, and then we say: “If I achieve it, everything will be different!”
How much?
We don’t know because our minds just can’t think ahead.
Instead of feeling “different”, I felt normal. And after the book presentation, I felt lost.
I spent so much time chasing that mountain that once I climbed it, I didn’t know what to do.
I have achieved financial independence. I took out my books.
And for the first time in years, I wanted to quit.
“If you feel the same way, what’s the point?” I thought.
I thought about shutting down my website. I realized I was confused goal with milestones.
When the rituals are over, you begin to rot.
Part III: The Easiest Way Back
In June 2025, everything changed. My wife was pregnant.
We lived frugally in a one-room apartment. If I wanted to be the father I wanted to be, I had to move.
I spent six months in scramble mode. Finding, buying, repairing a house. It was intense and consuming.
And by December of that year, the project was completed.
On the first night in our new home, the old “drift” feeling came back. My house had everything I could wish for.
And you guessed it, I still felt the same way. Of course, I was proud of what we built. But I was still the same person, I was looking for a creative way.
This time I realized the problem right away. It was a gap after success.
But this time I didn’t let it spiral. I sat down at my desk in my new home and asked myself one question:
“What is the easiest way for me to return to meaningful work?”
At that moment, the answer came to my mind: Write a letter to your son every day until he is born.
I started writing about my mistakes, the lessons I learned from the people in my life, and the things I wish I had known earlier.
I didn’t write for an audience or to make money. I wrote my truth.
In an instant the fire returned. It’s like 2015 again.
I realized I didn’t need a bestseller to feel purposeful. I just need to do something that energizes me and at the same time can affect someone else.
Because I don’t feel good when I do something for myself. There must be some effect on others.
This is often the missing link.
Bottom line: Create a project that never ends
Goals are useful for direction, but they’re a terrible foundation for happiness.
If what your personality is based on reachyou always crash after victory.
You become addicted to the next “high” needing a bigger goal and louder cheers to make you feel better.
A goal is not an achievement. The goal is the process.
It is the process of becoming a better person than yesterday. It’s waking up and knowing you’re working on something that’s important to you…even if no one is clapping.
You still hit your milestones. You still get wins. But these are only side effects.
The thing is work. It’s as if you have a never-ending project.
Life is full when you stop trying to “arrive” and start focusing on building.
Even on normal days.
Well, isn’t that the point? To feel that you have a full life, especially on ordinary days.
