You know, an intimate partner or family member kills one woman or girl every ten minutes? Murderers try to justify their crimes: “I killed him because I love him so much.” But it is not love that drives violence; this is pathological jealousy.
There are clear signs of excessive jealousy, e.g to pursue and isolation, but relationships do not begin with these behaviors. Jealousy gradually turns into innocent behavior, which can often go unnoticed. Here are some early warning signs that someone is pathologically jealous.
13 signs of pathological jealousy
“Jealousy is not an emotion, but a complex created by reactions, doubts and thoughts.”
Clinical Psychologist Ezgi Dokuzlu
1. They ask for your phone PIN or email password
“I know you have nothing to hide.”
This is a common sign of pathological jealousy that partners use emotional blackmail by offering their When PINs and passwords ask for yours. They feel that you are mysterious and if not, you have something to hide.
2. When you spend time with others, they swear
“Oh, are you talking to me again?”
Overreacting when you stop to talk to the store clerk for a few minutes or when you get a call from a friend are classic signs of pathological jealousy of your partner. These small exchanges act as a social bond that we all recognize. However, someone struggling with jealousy often gets upset when the focus shifts away from them.
3. They make “innocent” suggestions about what you’re wearing
“That skirt is a little short. Why don’t you change? You look great in pants.”
Your partner’s suggestion that your outfit is too revealing or sexy and goes with the conservative option means that they don’t want you to be noticed by others. You will often see women’s looks change from fun and sexy to boring mandatory control relationships.
4. They comment on the attractiveness of others
– The guy in the queue was very handsome, wasn’t he?
This is a test you can’t pass because saying yes shows you are interested in them, and if you say no, your partner won’t trust you anyway. It’s a no-win situation.
5. If you are a few minutes late, they will question you
“It’s only because I’m worried about you.”
When I was in college, my compulsively controlling ex did. He knew exactly how long it took me to get home. If I was a few minutes late, he would question me. It’s fine to ask if your partner is late for hours, but 5 minutes is a red flag.
6. They make veiled threats about what they will do if you cheat on them
“I would find and kill you both.”
Your partner never warned you cheat on them? My ex always did this. He threatened violence, “I warned you. If I do something, it won’t be my fault“. Even though I didn’t do anything wrong, I felt guilty. It’s a kind of mental prison that keeps you away from other people.
7. They catch you questioning your behavior
“If you weren’t friendly with the other guys, I wouldn’t have to worry.”
This is a classic sign of pathological jealousy. It moves their mistrust of you. This gas lighting. Now you ask a question your behavior; Perhaps your friendly attitude seems like flirting. Maybe this outfit was too revealing. You may be spending a lot of time at work.
8. Your friends/family say you are a bad influence
“I’m worried about them, not you.”
This is a isolation tactics used by controlling partners. They say they trust you, but they don’t like you spending time with some of your friends or family. It could be a single friend or family member you trust.
9. They test your priorities
“I know it’s your mom’s birthday, but I made a reservation at our favorite restaurant.”
This is a tactic designed to test your commitment to your partner. Who do you appreciate the most? Pathologically jealous people should be your main and only priority. This applies even to children.
In fact, I knew a guy whose girlfriend was so jealous of his 18-year-old daughter that he made her choose between them. Her daughter eventually left the family home.
10. They’re all over your social media
“Who was the guy who tagged you in that photo?”
It’s okay to be a little interested in the person you’re dating, but be careful when your partner is commenting on all of your social media. They spin it as a desire to know everything about you, and although it is flattering at first, it is a sign of pathological jealousy.
11. They ask several questions about harmless interactions
“I only care about your life, that’s all.”
That little interaction with the guy at the counter turned into a question and answer session. But a jealous person considers it completely harmless. They are only interested in your life and want to know more about you, but they feel jealous.
12. They make you feel guilty when you spend too much time away from them
“How was the office party? I really wanted to come with you, but you obviously didn’t want me there.”
Whether it’s an office party, a night out with the girls, or lunch with your parents, a pathologically jealous person can’t handle time away from them.
They think you’re having too much fun without them, badmouthing them, or having an affair behind their backs. Expect sarcastic comments, the silent treatmentor passive-aggressive behavior when you return.
13. They “joke” about hurting you if you leave them
“If I saw you with another man, I would kill you.”
If your partner repeats this comment is a jokeyou must understand how serious this is. People do not say such things unless they are pathologically jealous. They warn you in advance that they will hurt you.
What to do if you detect signs of pathological jealousy?
Since I’ve been in a relationship with a jealous partner, my advice is to leave as soon as possible. There is nothing you can do to appease or appease them. Listen, we all get jealous from time to time; We might dream about our neighbor’s new car or feel a little embarrassed when someone gets a promotion at work. But these are all obvious things.
Pathological jealousy is not based on real events or factual evidence. Jealous man imagines scenarios and feels threatened by thoughts they are to produce. It has nothing to do with what you do. And if the “evidence” they present is in his head, you won’t be able to convince him.
Another issue is that pathologically jealous people do not recover; Jealousy only increases you to become a completely different person to match their envy.
My friends used to say that I was glowing. I experienced all of the above symptoms, which seemed innocent at first. But they were just precursors. The problem is, once you “accept” these offers, comments, or behaviors, you can’t go back. Control and isolation will only get worse.
Final thoughts
Jealousy can affect even the happiest of relationships, but pathological jealousy is a different animal. He does not listen to reason or arguments and can ends in violence. If you notice the above signs, be very careful.
Sub-editor and staff writer at Studying the mind
Janey Davies has been publishing online for over 10 years. She suffered from panic disorder for over 30 years, which led her to study Psychology at the Open University and obtain an Honors Degree. Janey uses her concerns to provide support and advice to others dealing with mental health issues.
