Relatively recent research suggests that both gratitude and hope has a positive effect on the human body as well as the mind and spirit. I’ve read that gratitude has neurological benefits, and hope can improve symptoms and daily functioning in such people chronic disease. I would like to add my humble, personally observed contribution to the discussion of positive psychology: what about positive talking?
I believe that speaking positively (i.e. praising) can have all kinds of personal benefits for people, including motivation and contributes optimism and self-esteem. I also believe that criticizing people or telling them what they are doing wrong or should be doing differently can be counterproductive.
I first noticed the benefits of positive self-talk (ie, the power of praise) while teaching writing classes. I’ve learned that praise works better than criticism, that people respond to praise by writing better in the hopes and hopes of receiving more praise. If you tell someone they look good in a shirt, they will wear it every day. If you tell someone that a dress looks bad on them, they will put it in the closet and never take it off again. This statement is the foundation of how I teach writing.
I’m not saying there’s anything wrong with criticism in writing sessions; I’m just saying it doesn’t work very well. Because if you tell someone they don’t look good in a piece of art, they’ll put it down and never look at it again. Perhaps not literally – many people try to correct the work, try to correct their stories on the advice of the teacher and other students. And maybe the story looks better…though not always. Sometimes it turns out worse.
In any case, what is placed in the desk drawer is not necessarily a separate piece of writing. This is the writer’s trusttheir excitement and passion, the motivation to keep writing. And without it, the writing itself is often shortened, and sometimes leads to nothing.
I have extended this teaching method to other parts of my life. I learned that we are all more like children than we care to admit, longing to be praised. I know.
It’s a little embarrassing to admit it or ask people to compliment you, but I usually don’t, although I’ve started asking people to say something positive when I share my writing. More often than not, I started praising people in general, not just my writing students, pointing out things I liked about them or what they were doing right. People really respond to it.
It’s a small favor that costs nothing; It is as easy to say something positive as to say nothing or nothing negative. And even if your compliment doesn’t sink in—if the receiver rejects it or insists that something negative is true—the good you said to them will still stay with them. I believe this and I have found it to be true for myself.
I don’t want to seem like some kind of Pollyanna, bothering everyone with persistent, cheerful, half-hearted comments. And I certainly don’t encourage anyone to pretend to be positive when they’re not. I think positivity seems to have somewhat of a negative reputation, maybe people associate it with that – others tell you to stuff your feelings, pretend to be happy when you’re not.
Over the years, I’ve noticed that I’ve become less interested in criticizing, complaining, and focusing on what’s wrong, although sometimes I’ll pretend to be more negative than just go for it. Even saying that sounds a bit negative.
I also discovered that what I learned about the power of praise had far-reaching effects. You can imagine something positive and build on it, but it seems small or insignificant. It’s the real thing, the visible thing above the baseline, while the negative is below zero and basically nothing.
Essential Readings in Positive Psychology
Sometimes it’s hard to believe that anything positive is real or possible in the face of bad things happening, or mostly bad things. possible will happen. Fear looks like a thug it commands everyone attentionand I have certainly become a prey to fear. Perhaps the only thing we can do is to force ourselves to talk about the fear, to distract him by telling him about the positive things that are happening at the moment.
