Some principles of psychology are not new ideas at all. Eastern philosophy sometimes conveyed similar concepts several centuries ago. But if there is no science at the time to gather information about the idea or its implications, the ancient parable may have limits in describing the human condition.
An old Daoist parable that I see more often is the “empty boat theory”. Many content creators in reels, shorts and short expositions or self help Influencers have used the power of parables to help people find peace and even heal road rage (Siddharth M, 2026).
Among other things, you are on a boat on a river in a fog, and another boat collides with yours. You get angry, but then you realize that the other boat is empty – there is no one to steer it – and the anger disappears. The boat must have left the dock.
The general idea is that we cannot be angry because there is no one to be angry with. as conveyed by The New York Times bestselling author Sahil Bloom, “After all, you can’t be angry on an empty boat” (Bloom, 2026). Anger comes from a negative person and should be directed at him.
Well, yes and no.
Why the parable makes sense
Anger often involves feelings towards a person. Anger expert James Averill wrote that “anger above all else is guilt” (Averill, 1983). So we can be less angry when some TikTokers claim and worry seeing others in interpersonal conflict simply as people managing their own life challenges, i.e., intentionally “empty boats” (Shannon, 2026), makes some sense.
I don’t want to spoil anyone’s peace with this thought, but several issues complicate the story and what lessons can be learned from it. A more complete analysis may bring more peace to more readers.
Reasons for anger
In addition to being perceived as aggressive, anger can be triggered by other factors. Perceptions of negative intent can still produce anger, but assuming that anger is caused by such a perception may fall under the “communicative fallacy” (Taylor, 2019).
Other anger triggers include crowds, traffic, blocked targets, bad weather, pain, heat, hunger, stressand noise (Stalder, 2018). Gastroenterologist Christine Lee explained “hunger” by saying that “there’s a physiological reason why some people get angry when they’re hungry” (Cleveland Clinic, 2021). Aggression Researcher Craig Anderson has shown that warmth can lead to hostility and anger “in contexts devoid of potential targets of hostility” (Anderson et al., 1995).
Let’s face it, we’re all good at getting angry at all kinds of inhuman things, like a computer that deletes our files, a stove in our toe, or a swarm of mercilessly biting mosquitoes. And we can wholeheartedly defend it feeling This is accompanied by the recognition that there is no willful person behind these events. So, while we may be annoyed by being knocked off our feet while out on a boat, we don’t think that someone has maliciously or incompetently steered the boat into ours.
And yet, the use of the parable may inadvertently imply that such anger is unwarranted. Some victims, at least, can hear the message. In response to one “empty boat” post Facebookwrote a commenter: “Now you’re moving gas lamp people and tell them their feelings of anger is not real? There is a way” (Clair, 2026).
Anger can cause you to seek intent
Perception of intention can lead to anger, but anger can also lead to further perception of intention. Anger can cause not only to look for who is to blame, but also to think about someone is considered blame In cognitive dissonance theory, it is about “aligning the way you see the world with how you feel” (Myers, 2013). In Jonathan Haidt’s social-intuitionist model, after expressing strong emotions, one “becomes a lawyer trying to build a case rather than a truth-seeking judge” (Haidt, 2001).
This process contradicts the vanishing anger part of the parable. After anger comes, once motivation to exonerate him and find the person responsible despite being an empty boat. A lawyer at work. Who knows, it could be the culprit who hasn’t secured the boat at the dock yet, or overlooked rusted moorings that need replacing. As one commenter wrote, “Your empty boat hit mine and now my insurance company is asking questions” (Rawlings, 2026).
Telling the victim not to be angry may even make the victim angrier, or at the very least depressed. Another commenter said the parable told her: “I must be the problem,” “No one cares about me,” and “People thug hurting me is not real” (Smith, 2026).
The boat is rarely “empty”
Taking a step back, it is a rule of social psychology that most behavior results from a combination of personal and situational factors (Stalder, 2018). It’s rarely one or the other. So it’s rare for a boat to actually be “empty”.
It’s true that most of us overestimate the personality traits and motives behind bad behavior—that’s an overestimation. key attribute error (FAE), based on the powerful spirit of this parable. But assuming that personal factors are zero runs the risk of reverse FAE. And philosophically, do we want to remove all authority from our wrestlers during life (when they hurt us)?
Sum
Some self-help advocates exaggerate the idea that our anger may be motivated by a desire to make a wrong decision when it hurts us. Such an approach risks victim blaming.
But some who rely on the parable recognize that the boat is rarely empty, that we need to hold others accountable for actions that harm us, and that the possibility of the unexpected can reduce anger and anxiety. The parable may get some things wrong or incomplete, but the overall lesson is very valuable if carefully followed.
