Weakness and perfection are complete opposites. And what is it perfectionists preferred. considering the opinion of masking as related to autism and recognize that perfectionism is present in people on the autism spectrum (Greenaway et al. 2010), then we can perhaps think of perfectionism as a masking, a form of social protection. Deep down, most perfectionists want to do more than just mask; they seek to become completely different people.
One of the most difficult aspects therapy Self-disclosure and acceptance is perhaps even more difficult than change. Perfectionists seek treatment to better align with their ideals. Many of them, chronically tired of endless disguises, want to be what they pretend to be, as the ancient Greek philosopher Socrates recommended.
While this is a reasonable aspiration, their needs are buried but never forgotten. Perfectionists tend to pretend to be independent, self-confident, and driven. They are weak, needy, and above all, despise human things. Then therapy becomes another aid to self-deception (even if it is expressed goals this is a conflict with reality), returning the image of a perfectionist to them and improving it at the same time.
So it becomes a complicated and strange dance. How do I maintain my image as a perfectionist while also revealing enough of my weaknesses to be the person I am in that image? If that sounds silly, it is. Therefore, the treatment of perfectionism is often scary.
Although therapy is desperately needed, perfectionists struggle to seek help. They blame tirednessexternal conditions and even their partners – anything is superior to just revealing the need.
So if there is feeling spreading its tentacles over almost every aspect of perfectionism, that anger. Anger dominates the perfectionist’s existence. Perfectionists often feel frustrated with their jobs and demanding workloads. They resent their parents for not being able to meet their needs. And they often blame their partners for neglect.
On the surface, all this is usually true. Their bosses can and should consider whether they are taking advantage of their inclinations. people – please. Their parents, perhaps perfectionists themselves, are too busy with themselves self loathing push to help them. And their partners probably wait to be told what to do, using the perfectionist’s silence as an excuse to limit their interest.
While all of this is true, the perfectionist’s main anger is directed at themselves, and is manifested by the same basic question: Why should I ask? It’s one thing to constantly deduct your needs, it’s another idea to announce them.
Perfectionists refuse to be weak. At the same time, they want their needs (other than basic needs, such as food and shelter) to be absent, while others anticipate them. They want to take care of their image and, perhaps more importantly, self image hyper-independence.
They prefer not to think too deeply about their place in the world and accept their special characteristics. They want to see and judge the weakness of others, blinded by their own hypocrisy. Others want to become their masks, knowing inexplicably that such an image can only be supported if they quietly do their work and put the perfectionist at the center of their lives.
Admitting that you are angry at yourself for your needs, your need for help, and even your false independence is the first step in fixing your relationship and your work orientation. Next, you will be asked to acknowledge how choosing that particular partner and particular job helped you feel, and why each may not be sustainable for you in its own form. In all of these, you are asked to examine the validity of your understanding of vulnerability and need, and whether the two are closely related.
Perfectionism Key Readings
What if your partner wants to help you? What if your needs are not a burden? What if others don’t judge you as much as they support you? What if you had no one to compete with but yourself? And finally, what if some part of you is like your parents, who you don’t think deserve respect? Parents often reflect the worst in us, so we sometimes project our anger on them and justify it by their failures.
The question might be: If I am like them, can I love or be damned forever? Due in large part to black-and-white thinking, we often exaggerate our parents’ shortcomings and believe ourselves to be superior.
“No one wants to be weak” is the refrain of the perfectionist, but their concept of weakness is so wrong – every need is taken as a symbol of great weakness. Any deficiency is a disqualification. And any imperfection is rejected. For a perfectionist, weakness or weakness, whatever it may be, should not be taken too seriously. This is probably something psychoanalyst When Don Carvet wrote, “The purpose of analysis is to overcome yourself.”
The next time you find yourself getting angry at someone else, or even yourself, you might ask: Am I actually angry at myself for being imperfect?
