Seven things to do before you die

Road

The 500-mile Camino de Santiago runs from the French border to the northwest coast of Spain. A pilgrimage route, the Camino is a 1,000-year-old network of footpaths. spiritual seekers often devote a month or more to reflection, healing, connection, and transcendence.

After years of consideration, my very good friend Bob has decided that he doesn’t want any more time to pass, and this year he will – this May he will walk the Camino.

We met with our friends Joe and Wendy via Zoom a few weeks ago, and he told us his plan, just like he has every Friday for the last dozen years. He said he wasn’t overthinking it – he hadn’t bought a return plane ticket yet so he could walk as slowly as possible. We were excited and happy for him. We knew we would get horror stories from him.

Later that evening, January 30th, I learned that Bob had suffered a massive heart attack that afternoon and died.

Who has time for a bucket list?

Research on bucket lists provides interesting insights into how we plan and implement such meaningful life goals. A study published in 2020 shows that bucket list goals are often put off until later.pension years due to other middle-aged priorities, as well as our current unprecedented longevity.

In this regard, a 2018 study titled Before I Die: The Effects of Time Horizon and Age on Bucket List Goals describes how bucket lists change based on the time we take to complete them.

The researchers divided the bucket list into three categories:

The goals of seeking knowledge directed at new experiences
Emotional goals
Self-acceptance and positive goals self awareness

They then placed respondents in one of three time frames (no time limit, six months to live, and one week to live) and asked them to make a bucket list.

The researchers found, among other findings, that as our perceived time horizon narrows, the role of emotionally meaningful goals increases significantly—not so much: when given an open time frame and only one week, the percentage of emotionally meaningful goals almost doubles.

The road has been revised

Looking back on it now, I don’t think Bob walked the Camino was an ordinary activity, but I can tell that it was emotionally meaningful for him.

After leaving the corporate world a few years ago, Bob made living from his heart his life’s goal. worked as sadness counselor and in hospice care. He fed the homeless. She taught qigong on the beach and worked to help others find their true purpose in life.

In fact, when we asked him about his hopes for the Camino, his answer was: “I just ‘listen to the spirit’ and follow it.”

Apart from that, he said, he didn’t expect much. He says he doesn’t need to walk the Camino, but he’s more interested in who he’ll meet along the way, how it’ll feel to sleep in a portable tent along the way, and who he’ll be able to help.

That sounds right to me. In fact, I can safely say that Bob would be the guy to tell stories about other pilgrims. He would be the guy who would listen to them without judging them. He would be the guy they hugged, cried with, and laughed really hard (and easily). He’d be a 6’6″ stranger they’d remember as someone special. Like me, they’d say, “He was the liveliest guy I ever met.”

And this is how I remember Bob: alive – really alive – no more bucket lists needed.

So, without further ado, I know my friend Bob will write it himself. Planning is minimal, it’s easy on the wallet, and while transcendence isn’t guaranteed, I think it’s just a set-up the environment for that.