The same thing happens every semester. After the first class of the year at New York University, students wait until the room is empty and then fall silent. fear with their professor: perhaps the admission was mistaken. Maybe they don’t belong here. These are not students who are falling behind. They’ve worked hard, earned their place, and have the grades to prove it. And yet, underneath it all, there’s a fear that they don’t really matter.
This is Professor Dr. Sarah Bennison, professor at New York University, co-founder of the Mattering Movement, and a leading voice in the matter center. education. And he is not alone in noticing this. Educators at every level describe the same thing: a generation of youth who are outwardly achieving and inwardly jaded.
The difference between being present and feeling safe
When Bennison surveys his students at the beginning of each semester, stress and worry come up again and again as their biggest struggles. Loneliness close behind. But what surprises him most is not how many students are suffering. Few of them could refer to anyone at their school. Most people say they have trusted adults in their lives. Many also say they don’t go to a professor or staff member in a crisis.
This is a space that is rarely spoken about. Students are physically present in educational spaces for most of their young lives, but presence is not the same as safety. When students don’t feel safe, they won’t bring up their real questions, fears, or confusions. They look good.
Bad choice schools continue to make
Education has long viewed academic rigor and emotional well-being as rewards attention students’ emotions take something away from what they learn. But anxiety doesn’t stay outside the classroom door. When students are overcrowded, their ability to focus, retain, and engage decreases. This is not a livestock problem. It is a matter of learning.
As my doctoral research emphasized, significance is not a peripheral social-emotional outcome. This is the basic condition of self-learning.
Classroom moments that students carry with them for years are rarely about content delivery. Bennison describes them as moments of true connection, when the student feels that the person teaching them sees them. Such moments do not happen by chance. They happen when students feel safe not just to be in their own bodies.
Importance is not the same as relevance
Schools have gotten better at talking about belonging. Orientation weeks, inclusive classrooms, diversity initiatives—these are important. But relevance and importance are not interchangeable. A student may feel included in the school community and still feel that their presence, voice, or absence is completely ignored.
This space is currently inhabited by many students.
When students feel that they matter to the person they are teaching, something changes. They take more risks, ask questions they would otherwise swallow, and engage when the going gets tough. The curriculum doesn’t change, but they feel the weight of their presence in the room.
And it cuts both ways. There are no teachers who feel that their work is not recognized and their contribution is not seen. Schools that spend a lot of money on the welfare of students and quietly burn with their teachers are not solving the problem. They are moving it to another place.
What young people actually say
In a study published in the Journal of Prevention and Intervention in the Community by my colleagues and I, we analyzed hundreds of responses from young people about moments they felt were important. Their answers were not complicated. One student wrote that they felt important because their friend didn’t make them feel stupid for listening to their problems. Another teacher described noticing their movement. A third talked about missing them when they were gone.
Basic Readings in Education
What surprised us the most in this study was how young people felt they were insignificant. Not at home, not with friends, but at school. Of all places in young people’s lives, school was the setting most associated with feeling invisible, unimportant, or alienated. This discovery stayed with me. Because school is also where young people spend most of their time, and the adults in the room have the most consistent opportunity to change that.
Where to start
Bennison has developed what he calls the Mattering Matrix, a practical starting point for educators who want to make that change, rather than waiting for a new program or policy change. Three questions arise about each student:
- Does this student know I noticed them? (Warning.)
- Does this student know that I appreciate them? (Significance.)
- Does this student know I need them here? (Confidence.)
These are not rhetorical. They point to specific things: learning how a name is actually pronounced, observing when someone is absent, telling the student what they bring to the room instead of general praise, and giving students real responsibility so they feel the weight of their presence.
None of this is complicated. But it asks of teachers something the system rarely makes room for: the time and intention to treat students as people whose presence really makes a difference. For many students who are wondering whether or not, this can make all the difference.
