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Can a narcissist love? My immediate answer would be yes, of course; they love themselves. But are they capable of love? you?
Narcissists exist in a spectrumso their ability to love is also on the spectrum? Narcissists claim them possible fall in love if their needs are met, but relationships need compromise with equal amounts of give and take, and narcissists are takers, not givers. Their version of love is obsessive, one-sided, and transactional.
So what is love for a narcissist and what do they really mean when they say it “I love you”?
Can a narcissist love?
1. What Narcissists Mean When They Say “I Love You”
Can a narcissist love you? They would say they can, but their definition of love is different than yours. Narcissists love people like you love your new flat screen TV or car. They love it for what it can do for them or how it makes them feel.
Narcissists lack the emotional development or empathy to form long-term, deep relationships. To them, you are an object and your “job” is to meet their needs. It means love for a narcissist.
Narcissists never reach the stage where objects become people worthy of love. So when they say, “I love you,”what they’re really saying is: you validate me, you pay attention to me, you boost my ego, you make me your priority, I feel special when I’m with you, so I have to have you because I feel and look good with you.
2. Love is different for narcissists
Narcissists may have high levels of individuality and individuality, but a narcissist’s self-esteem is dependent on what others think. Narcissists rely external factors to increase self-esteem.
Healthy self-esteem does not depend on external factors. This is internal. It is based on how we perceive ourselves and our capabilities. He accepts our strengths and weaknesses and does not rely on constant approval or admiration from others. So it is possible a narcissist can they fall in love if they don’t love themselves?
3. Narcissistic love is an obsession
When a narcissist says, “I love you,” they believe that they can fall in love, but it is not a deep connection where both partners are equal. Narcissistic love demands full attention to their needs. Their version of love has stages and it starts with obsession love to bang.
A narcissist falls in love quickly. Love for them means they can’t stop thinking about you. They dream about life with you. They fell in love with you. But not because of your good looks or charming personality; it’s for what you can do for them.
“For a narcissist, love is an external source of validation used to increase their self-worth. They don’t understand that true love involves reciprocity. Instead, they believe they can use love from a person or object to make themselves feel better.”
Dr. Ketan Parmar, relationship expert
You deserve respect, gratitude, confirmationadmiration and attention they must feel special and they think it’s love. You satisfy their need for external validation. Narcissists will mirror your behavior to make a connection, even if it’s shallow. Narcissists know this connection is superficialso they like to bombard you to hook you up.
They will turn you into a passionate, stormy romance. They are affectionate and thoughtful, and are quick to talk about long-term plans like marriage. Narcissists see you as the perfect partner because you maintain their sense of self-worth by responding to their behavior.
4. Narcissistic love is codependent
Once a narcissist gets you into a relationship, it soon becomes clear that your world revolves around their needs. All your attention is focused on them. You are constantly monitoring their mood and reactions. You flatter and flatter their egos, always putting them on a pedestal ignoring your needs in relationships. Because of this, you lose your autonomy.
Soon the line between you and the narcissist will blur, and as they ignore your feelings, you will simply become an extension of the narcissist, absorbing their feelings as if they were your own. This is a connection.
You try to maintain the relationship. As your identity grows with the narcissist, your worth is determined by how you perceive the narcissist. So, if you want to know if a narcissist loves you, when they say: “I love you,” If you do a great job of making them feel validated, the answer is yes.
5. Narcissistic love is a transaction
Because a narcissist cannot feel good without the support of others, they need this validation from a constant source or supply. So, if you’re wondering if a narcissist can love you, it depends on his quality narcissistic supply; it’s you If you make them feel good, they will keep you around.
Feeling good can mean many different things to a narcissist; for example, putting up with their toxic behavior or tantrums so they feel superior, taking care of them financially to allow them to live. parasitic lifestyle.
Regardless, the relationship should provide them with something; otherwise they leave. Narcissists are takers, not givers. They use tactics like gaslighting, extortion or sabotage to get the maximum reward.
Final thoughts
So can a narcissist love? The answer is this no. Narcissists use things or tools from normal people. When an object stops working, we discard it. And narcissists discard people like objects. Sure, they may have “loved” the way the object made them feel, but they don’t look back and say so. inside make love with him.
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Sub-editor and staff writer at Studying the mind
Janey Davies has been publishing online for over 10 years. She suffered from panic disorder for over 30 years, which led her to study psychology at the Open University and obtain an Honors degree. Janey uses her concerns to provide support and advice to others dealing with mental health issues.
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