It is tough. Especially when you’re growing up.
I still remember my mother laughing and carrying fans around our house and even in public. I thought it was funny at the time. I couldn’t understand why she was so attached to that little fan that she was rocking it like a cozy blanket. At the time, I believed it would be decades before I could relate to his experience. I don’t know, one day it will be my turn.
What I didn’t realize at the time was that carrying a fan meant more than just staying warm. This means I’m entering a stage of life where I need to be fiercely protective of my health and body. Suddenly, concerns that seemed real and troubling to me often turned into phrases like: “It’s just hormones,” “It’s normal for your age,” or “It’s probably autoimmune.” These explanations may have had some grain of truth, but they often seemed irrelevant to my experience living in my own body.
The sad part is that by the time I reached that stage in life, I had known my body for over forty years. I knew something felt “off”. I knew when the symptoms were new, unfamiliar, or different. Nevertheless, often women are forced to second-guess themselves, while those around them carelessly explain their concerns.
Since then, I have had countless conversations with women of all ages. I read and saw the articles social networks videos, talked to doctors, and listened intently to friends who were quietly struggling with the same symptoms. During those conversations, one question played over and over in my mind:
“How come no one told me?”
No one told me that menopause can affect more than hot flashes. Nobody told me this fatigue, brain fogsore feet worrycan be associated with sleep disturbances, weight changes, joint pain, and emotional exhaustion. No one explained that our body needs different support due to hormonal changes.
For example, when my feet hurt all the time, I never imagined that protein intake could be part of the problem. It wasn’t until I broke my ankle that I started exercising therapy At Carle Health in Champaign, Illinois, someone finally highlighted how important protein is for menopausal women. Such a simple suggestion, but it made all the difference for me.
I increased my protein intake and amazingly my leg pain improved dramatically. My ankle is healing well. My fatigue subsided. Even some of the brain fog started to lift. That one recommendation sent me into a spiral of research and trying to understand why so many menopausal women experience these symptoms without fully understanding what is going on in their bodies.
Knowing that many of my friends were going through the exact same issues opened it up even more. We’ve all been trying to function normally, silently wondering if we’re falling apart and confused by what we consider to be “new” or “random” symptoms. When I shared what I had learned, many of them responded with the same question I asked myself:
“How come no one told me?”
This question carries a lot of weight. Because the data is there. Experiences are real. Women talk to each other every day about fatigue, hormonal changes, painful cycles. infertility struggle, anxiety, ADHDautoimmune diseases, PCOS, perimenopausemenopause and mental overload. Yet many of us still feel unprepared and unsupported when these changes happen to us.
Basic readings about menopause
- Why are we uncomfortable talking openly about women’s health?
- Why is menopause whispered about instead of being discussed honestly?
- Why are women expected to “push” symptoms that significantly affect their quality of life?
And it’s not just menopausal women who feel invisible. Young women are also dealing with complex medical conditions such as polycystic ovary syndrome (PCOS), attention deficit/hyperactivity disorder (ADHD), endometriosis, autoimmune disorders, and chronic fatigue, often without a full understanding of what is happening in their bodies or how to effectively manage these conditions. Many were dismissed, minimized, or quickly treated without adequately discussing their concerns with me. educationor a deeper investigation.
Too often women become experts in survival instead of health.
- We learn to work while tired.
- We normalize pain.
- We laugh at everything.
- We continue to silently carry burdens for work, children, spouses, friends, and communities that no one can see.
And maybe it’s just one of the hardest parts of being a woman is that we’re expected to keep educating others while trying to make sense of what’s going on in ourselves.
But I’m learning something important through all of this: women need each other. We need honest conversations. We need safe spaces to share experiences shame or shame. We need healthcare providers who listen carefully instead of assuming. We need research that puts women’s bodies first. And most importantly, we need to stop treating conversations about women’s health like taboo subjects.
Because there is power in promoting more body support when it changes.
- There is healing in realizing that you are not imagining things.
- There is power in protecting your body.
- And there is wisdom in women sharing knowledge with each other that previous generations often had to endure in silence.
Many people don’t even recognize the impact these experiences have on their mental health. When women constantly feel dismissed, unheard, exhausted, overwhelmed, or disconnected from their bodies, it starts to make them feel “crazy.” Not because they really are, but because they’re still trying to make sense of the physical, emotional, and hormonal changes while managing careers and relationships. to take care of responsibilities, households and daily expectations.
Brain fog can make smart women doubt themselves. You may feel tired depression. Hormonal fluctuations can increase anxiety, irritability, sadness, or emotional sensitivity. Lack of sleep alone can affect mood, concentrationpatience and coping skills. Then add the pressure many women put on themselves to continue to perform at a high level, no matter how terrible they feel, and it becomes a perfect whirlwind of emotions. tiredness.
The problem is that many women suffer in silence because they fear called “dramatic,” “emotional,” or volatile. So instead of slowing down, offering support or asking questions, they continue to push themselves beyond exhaustion. Over time, this emotional suppression can lead to feelings of frustration, resentment, isolation, or chronic pain. stress.
One of the healthiest things women can do at these stages of life is to stop minimizing their experiences. Talk to someone. Ask questions. Find healthcare workers who will listen instead of dismissing them. Build communities with other women who are willing to talk honestly without shame or judgment. Prioritize rest without rest guilt. Nourish your body instead of punishing it. Rather than comparing yourself to who you were twenty years ago, learn what your body needs at this point in life.
Most importantly, women need to give themselves permission to grow.
There is nothing “crazy” about recognizing that your body, mind, and emotional needs are changing. There is nothing weak about needing support. In fact, acknowledging these changes can be one of the most empowering and healthy things a woman can do for herself.
So yes, I carry a fan these days too.
But now I think differently about my mother. I don’t see anything funny anymore. I see endurance. I see the best way for a woman navigating how to make a difference while taking on the responsibilities of everyday life.
And now, I finally understand.
