“Today I escaped difficult situations, or rather, I threw them away, because the oppression was not from outside me, but from my own assumptions.”
Great wisdom for athletes, performers and everyone else. Who came up with this? Stoic philosopher and Roman emperor Marcus Aurelius, between 170 and 180 BC. Yes, 1,500 years before most of today’s sports and psychology science was created, and wisdom for people of any era.
Our assumptions, judgments, and thoughts create the bulk of emotional “crushing” rather than actual situations. The team loses, the hockey goalie misses the puck, and the ballerina stumbles.
The Greek philosopher Epictetus, who lived 1,800 years ago, put it this way:
It is not the events themselves that disturb people, but only their thoughts about them.
Exactly. Mental judgments arising from events that may be problematic. Thoughts, stories, etc., our mind thinks we are the real culprit. Performers can effectively respond to distracting mental chatter feeling and the body sensations that go along with them are able to minimize the “emotional congestion” that gives them the ability to move and perform the skills and other things necessary for their endeavors.
The process and the ability to do so are key components of the contextual behavioral science (CBS) term psychological flexibility (PF). It’s time to take a closer look.
Psychological flexibility explained
There are many definitions of PF. Skipping the psychological mumbo jumbo for practical purposes, we’ll go with this:
The ability to pursue something valuable goals despite the presence of grief.
– Kashdan, Disabato, Goodman, Doorly, and McKnight (2020).
Based on the concepts of Aurelius and Epictetus, it is the ability to achieve worthwhile goals despite the presence of pleasant or unpleasant thoughts and feelings. Desired and desired feelings can distract athletes, creating a “crush” that can disrupt optimal performance.
Often associated with psychological flexibility endurancemotivation and mental toughness, but as Ross White (2025) points out, these terms are misinterpreted and have no scientific basis. Psychological flexibility related to acceptance and commitment training (ACT) is a research-based concept and effectiveness process.
Marcus Aurelius expressed the essence of the pursuit of psychological flexibility long before the advent of modern experts as follows:
“We must surround not only unnecessary actions, but also unnecessary thoughts, so that unnecessary actions do not follow them.
Judgments, opinions, and assumptions emerge. We do not control this. What we do with it leads to different responses. Disappointment when we fail, disappointment when we succeed, disappointment and anger disagree with coaching or competent decisions are simple emotional reactions. How we respond to them can make the difference between being effective or ineffective. Like ACT statements, they either work or they don’t.
Thoughtful emotional moments are the point of choice. We can react impulsively and make bad decisions, or we can take a short pause with a deep breath and reflect and make an informed, effective choice. What ACT calls for action taken
Take football quarters as an example. They fall back, take a short pause, assess the situation around them, and then decide what to do with the ball. Do they have thoughts and feelings in their brains? Of course they do!
The thoughts going through a quarterback’s mind about being sacked by a 350-pound offensive lineman and fear connected to it, the QB can freeze and get sacked or, if used effectively, break out of the pocket and lead to a touchdown. The smarts to be a hero and the excitement of throwing a 50-yard bomb can win a game or lead to four pass coverages that end up losing the game.
Whether decisions are driven by an emotional impulse or based on a well-informed choice, there can be good or bad outcomes. The bottom line is that opinions can be informative, but must be used wisely.
Athletics and other performances are similar to driving a car. It takes courage attention and actions taken wisely. Allowing random thoughts and accompanying emotions to make decisions for you is like handing your car keys to a 3-year-old. How does it work?
Make informed choices.
Winning decisions
Thoughts, judgments, thoughts and the feelings that come with them appear in your mind. They can provide valuable input for effective decision making. They can also lead to impulsive wrong choices.
What you need to do is what ACT calls “cognitive defusion,” which refers to the ability to separate yourself from disturbing and pleasant judgments, assumptions, thoughts, etc.
A referee who thinks “we’re being hunted by the refs” and falls into the “we’re gonna win, we’re gonna win” line, or an athlete who gets excited after hitting a three-pointer and voluntarily curses the team, distracts them from the game and focuses on the football that matters right now. coach Lou Holtz.
ACT has names for these two scenarios. Clinging to sad thoughts and feelings is called clinging, and clinging to pleasant perceptions and feelings is called emotional clinging.
Getting rid of these distracting internals—detachment—requires great awareness skills through breathing pauses and awareness, which enables the ability to choose what is important right now. How to do this will be discussed in the next article.
At the same time, be aware of when you’re “cursing” or “emotionally stuck” so you can let go of distractions and take action that matters right now.
Win it!
