A large body of research shows that narcissists make bad romantic partners. They are less didmore likely to play manipulative gamesand blaming others when things go wrong. However, narcissists often are attractive and charming at first. This has led researchers to believe that relationships with narcissists may be especially attractive early on, only to experience a dramatic decline in satisfaction. Surprisingly, there has not been much research examining the relationship trajectories of those who have partnered with narcissists. In a study I just published Journal of personalityTogether with William Chopik, we examined how narcissism might influence changes in relationship satisfaction over a six-year period.
In the study, we analyzed the data of more than 5000 couples who participated A German family panel study. The study provided up to six years of survey data from participants and their romantic partners. Participants completed questionnaires measuring narcissism. In addition, both partners rated their overall relationship satisfaction annually.
Used in research The concept of narcissistic admiration and competition (NARC) to assess narcissism. NARC confirms this narcissistic features come in two forms. Narcissistic admiration involves being charming and trying to impress others. Narcissistic competition includes denigrating others. Both strategies are techniques that narcissists use to maintain their grand and grandiose vision of themselves. They can feel good about themselves by elevating themselves (narcissistic admiration) or by putting others down (narcissistic competition). Instead of these two dimensions representing two different types of narcissists, they are filler tendencies that can coexist in one person. Some narcissistic individuals rely primarily on surprise strategies (impressing others), while other narcissistic individuals rely on them. both strategies.
It is not surprising that narcissistic competition is associated with many negative things long-term relationship outcomesAlthough narcissistic admiration is often associated with good or even positive outcomes, especially in the short term. It should also be noted that this study assessed narcissistic traits on a continuum in a general sample of adults in partnerships. Therefore, these findings reflect varying degrees of narcissism, rather than focusing specifically on individuals with the clinic. personality disorder.
In learningwe found that those higher in narcissistic competition were less satisfied with their relationships, and so were their partners. While relationship satisfaction tended to decline for everyone over the course of the six-year study, we expected the decline to be steeper for those who partnered with people high in narcissistic competition. That’s what surprised us it’s not work However, we found that partners with narcissists in very new relationships (one year or less at the time of the survey) were particularly dissatisfied.
These results suggest that narcissism is associated with more problems down the road, but the “road” may last more than six years. Narcissistic competition destroys relationships too quickly (ie, these couples never reach the long-term stage necessary for this study) or too slowly, with a direct trajectory of decreased satisfaction. We also found that men partnered with women high in narcissistic competition were less satisfied the longer they were in their relationship, but this effect did not occur for women partnered with narcissistic men. Again, this suggests that narcissism is associated with lower partner satisfaction over time, but it is not a simple linear trajectory.
Because the most negative side of narcissism—narcissistic competition—exists alongside attractive admiration tendencies, some people may continue to find these relationships satisfying for long periods of time. Over time, narcissists can be gradual breaking their partners sense of representation and self-esteem in ways that differ from person to person. Usually, the ugly side of narcissism comes out when one is a narcissist under threat and their giant bubble is in danger of bursting. Again, this may explain why there is no one-size-fits-all linear decline in satisfaction.
Whether it’s relationships that end too suddenly to be tracked in a long-term study, or relationships that slowly lose satisfaction over a decade, the data still show us that the allure of narcissistic admiration rarely compensates for the effects of long-term narcissistic competition.
