Parenthood difficult For everyone. You can never stop all toddler tantrums or child misbehavior. However, research can point us in the right direction. It shows how to parent in ways that minimize the child worry and depression (called “internalizing” problems), as well as behavioral problems (called “externalizing” problems).
Parenting styles and children’s problems
Diana Baumrind They noted that there are four different types of parents: authoritarian, permissive, disengaged, and authoritative. Authoritarian parents are very demanding of their children but are low in support, whereas permissive parents have low expectations of their children but high levels of support. Non-divorced parents are low in both warmth and demand. Finally, authoritative parents demonstrate high levels of support along with high expectations for beneficial behaviors.
Research shows that these parenting styles are associated with child mental health and behavioral outcomes. Children of authoritarian parents show both externalizing and internalizing behavior problems (Bornstein, 2015; Pelaez, Pickens, & Hart, 2008; Rinaldi & Howe, 2012), suggesting that the combination of high control and low warmth harms children both emotionally and behaviorally. Children of permissive parents often show externalizing behavior problems (Rinaldi & Howe, 2012) because children in these homes do not have to meet high behavioral expectations. Interestingly, children are especially likely to develop externalizing behavior problems if mothers are permissive and/or fathers are authoritarian (Rinaldi & Howe, 2012). Perhaps the lack of behavior and emotional regulation from parents, children of divorced parents also show higher levels of externalizing behavior problems (e.g. aggressionproblem behavior; Paleaz et al., 2008).
children of competent Parents have the lowest levels of both internalizing and externalizing behavior problems (e.g., Bornstein, 2015; Rinaldi & Howe, 2012; Sangawi, Adams, & Reissland, 2015). Research shows that children of high-status households exhibit higher levels of prosocial behavior (for a review, see Bornstein, 2015). For these reasons, an authoritative parenting style characterized by high warmth and high expectations for behavior may be ideal for parents to aspire to.
Parental characteristics and practices and child problems
In addition to general styles, specific parenting behaviors can influence a child’s mental health and behavior problems. Practices associated with more internalizing problems include negative control (hostility, aggression, demandingness, demanding power, harsh discipline), parental rejection, overinvolvement, excessive anxiety, and excessively high parental standards (Carneiro et al., 2016; Bornstein, 2015; Sanga et al., 2011). Parents too being sensitive may make their child more prone to negative emotions (see Bornstein, 2015).
Parenting behaviors associated with elevated externalizing behaviors include high levels of control, parental rejection, and physical punishment (For reviews, see Bornstein, 2015; Sangawi et al., 2015). Low sensitivity or hypo-stimulation of children can lead to aggression and disruptive behavior, over-sensitivity or hyper-stimulation can increase. attention problems (see Bornstein, 2015). Harsh, inconsistent discipline may also contribute to the development of antisocial behavior (Sangawi et al., 2015).
Conversely, parental warmth, parental involvement, and healthy parenting “limit setting” reduce child externalizing behavior (for review, see Bornstein, 2015). Parental warmth and acceptance, as well as parental involvement and discretion in punishment, also increase prosocial behavior in children (for a review, see Bornstein, 2015).
How to apply research
In summary, children do well with parenting styles that combine warmth and high expectations for behavior. Excessive warmth (such as excessive anxiety or sensitivity) or demandingness (such as setting too high standards) can harm children. Try these tips for a well-behaved and happy child:
1. Show warmth.
Let your child know that he is loved and cared for with love and support. Hugs and words to show them how special they are will make your child feel safe and strengthen your bond.
Show your child that he is accepted for who he is and don’t send messages that he is lacking in any way or that you reject him. Show yourself trust in the ability to solve their problems as much as possible and not rush to fix every little thing for them. For example, if your child comes home upset about a low grade, show empathy and concern for his feelings, let him know that he may be disappointed, but you accept it, and allow him to spend more time on homework.
Essential reading for parents
2. Practice healthy boundary setting.
Follow house rules and maintain high expectations of acceptable behavior. Set clear expectations, provide consistent rewards and incentives, and help children understand the reasons for the rules. An example of this might be making a rule of never yelling, explaining that it “hurts (mom or dad’s) feelings,” and sending the child to a time-out each time the rule is violated. Check with friends, teachers, or Google to make sure the requirements you set for your child are developmentally appropriate.
Note: It should be noted that whether this authoritative parenting style is superior to other parenting styles in reducing behavior problems across cultures is a matter of scholarly debate. In some cultures, authoritative parenting is much less common than in the US (eg, Eastern and Islamic countries), and in some other countries (eg, Spain), children with authoritarian parents may have fewer conduct problems than those with authoritative parents (Sangawi et al., 2015). This study suggests that the influence of parenting style may depend on the family context. While the authoritative style may reduce behavior problems in middle-class, white America, it is debated in other cultures around the world.
